Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Posted on April 15, 2013 by stuntgranny

minorthreat83

After the normal review, we get started with the handicapped match of Sheamus & Randy Orton against the Big Show. Sheamus should really be smart enough to tag out to Orton to beat the Big Show. I know he’s mad with him and all but that’s plain stupid. Randy gets to be the hot tag tonight. Sure, whatever. The crowd was back to normal on Smackdown. This Raw is no different. Brogue Kick + RKO = win. Snooze. 3MB get mic time because they were beat down by The Shield. They called the Shield out.

3MB gets more mic time, this time in the ring. I’m glad the Shield isn’t wasting their time. Brock Lesnar will though. People are loving Lesnar doing this. Not quite sure why he was ever positioned as a heel. Paul Heyman tells us he wants another match with HHH. This trilogy isn’t getting drug out like Rock vs Cena. Steel cage match is the offer. Disappointing. Expected HIAC.

Hot damn, I rewound for the yoodling. I should shot myself. Antonio Cesaro gets to beat Kofi Kingston. Nice of the WWE to try and make Kofi look like something other than a jobber. Holy shit, they gave them a commercial. I’m not sure I’ve seen Cesaro throw that running uppercut in the corner. That looked really good. Trouble in Paradise knocks Cesaro out of the ring. Trouble in Paradise again. Kofi is the new US Champion. This could be a good move for Cesaro. They did have me hooked by the end.

Buzzed right thru the Dolph Ziggler review for his interview. I still don’t get some of his outfit choices. The leather jacket is not your style. Alberto Del Rio gets to screw up a good promo. I love Ziggler turning him down because of an injury. Vickie Guerrero orders the match. Nice spite ruling. Zeb Colter & Jack Swagger join the party. Del Rio takes out Swagger. Jack gets the jump when Big E distracts Del Rio. Patriot lock does more damage.

The Prime Time Players have shirts now. Kind of simple, kind of slick and the back is a horror house of words. Wow, surprised that the Taker, Kane & Bryan vs. The Shield match will be next week. Not as surprised when they say it will be in London. They try to go a little extra big there. Daniel Bryan takes the beating early. Kane gets the luke warm tag. He destroys Darren Young anyway. Flying Headbutt win.

Ryback was in a dark room. I’m really digging the setting. He’s pissed at Cena because he didn’t help him out when he was being assaulted by the Shield. And Mark Henry. He’s going to step out of John Cena’s shadow. Good promo. All I could think though was, he needs to be able to do this in something other than a specific setting.

(more…)

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Posted on April 8, 2013 by stuntgranny

calvin-writing

Quotes from Jeremy on Facebook about Wrestlemania – #1. Yeah I totally got away with not contributing at all this year. Fortunately Kevin DiFrango was there for us all. (About my last preview post for Wrestlemania) #2. Kevin DiFrango wrote about WrestleMania 29. I saved $70.00 by not ordering and reading his review. I hope you do the same. (Considering I posted this today, Jeremy know his tenses very well.)

Quotes from Dusty on Facebook about Wrestlemania – Just read the quick results for Mania. The only result that didn’t make me want to jam a needle into my eye was Del Rio beating Swagger. Glad I occupied myself with baseball and old SNL today

Quotes from Eric on Facebook about Wrestlemania -

I get the odd feeling we won’t be talking about Wrestlemania this year. I re-watched the first two or three matches last night. I’ll try and watch the rest of the matches at some other point to properly evaluate. When you’re watching during a party and having to explain past histories and build up, you don’t pay attention very well. Toss in trying to blog and you’re nearly useless. I’m home with two conked out dogs. Time to concentrate on Raw. Let’s roll.

John Cena comes out and gives a Cena speech. He is the only person that gets this much of a reaction unless you count the part timers. Ryback and CM Punk come close. Mark Henry spoils the victory speech. Cena tries to derail a good promo. Booker T comes out to kill a main event that should headline a PPV. I have no idea where Vickie Guerrero is. Booker turns it into a non-title match. Henry still delivers a good promo.

Daniel Bryan comes down with Kane. Big E Langston comes down with some guy with blonde hair and a woman who might be smaller than my sister. I’m glad this crowd is better than the one last night. Nice choice of the director to not show Langston tossing Bryan onto Kane. Langston wins with the Big Ending. That was quick. Glad to know that Ziggler’s briefcase will continue to not be used as he still pursues the useless tag titles.

Wade Barrett gets his rematch against the Miz who went back to the goofy jacket for some reason. It doesn’t fit his character so I have no idea what he’s thinking. I do like the new wrestling gear though. Of course nothing happened before the commercial. I was grabbing dinner finally so I missed Barrett’s spell of offense. Barrett gets to break the figure four. Barrett whacks the Miz off the post. Bull Hammer for the win. Okay. Can someone tell me what the purpose of Barrett dropping the strap in the first place? Vickie & Brad Maddox are yammering when Sheamus comes in. He gets a match but Vickie doesn’t specify against who. Glad to know she’s as tired of that match as the rest of us are.

Booker T is backstage when Randy Orton approaches. Of course he wants a match against Big Show too. Booker over rules Vickie. Oh crap. It’s going to be worse than I thought with just a plain old rematch. We’re on the brink of anarchy according to Zeb Colter. Damn, I just got my finances straightened out. At least I had a good couple of year run to enjoy it before anarchy.

Alberto Del Rio and Jack Swagger do the heavy lifting. No surprise there. Also no surprise that they go to commercial with someone laying outside the ring. JBL has been stumping for free speech but doesn’t want it when Jerry Lawler makes a Colter joke. Neither Mitchell Cool nor Lawler called him on it. Del Rio breaks the Patriot Act. Del Rio turns a second attempt into a cross arm breaker. That was slick. Swagger taps out. Del Rio starts selling his ankle injury. Dolph Ziggler comes out. He cashes it in. The crowd is going crazy. The WWE will have it on mute in the main office. Enziguri by Del Rio. Kick out by Ziggler who had to wait until 2. Ziggler gets out of the cross arm breaker with a partial ankle lock. Zig Zag for the World Championship. Awesome. So awesome.

The fun continues. The Shield comes out when the Undertaker comes out. Glad to know he’s taking off more time officially. I’m not surprised. Aww crap, they do love this three man group so much, they’ve made up another three man group to not make them singles wrestlers.

Dolph Ziggler gets to give a victory speech. He said that this is his Wrestlemania moment. It is about damn time. Great cockiness that he needs to keep. 3MB gets to wrestle R Truth, Zack Ryder & Santino Marella. This match is very exciting for all involved. You didn’t get into Wrestlemania, here’s your consolation prize. Cobra beats Heath Slater. Awesome, they showed Fandango’s appearance on Opie & Anthony. Nice showing from little Jimmy Norton. Kaitlyn got to give away tickets instead of having her Wrestlemania moment. Sheamus and Randy Orton are arguing. Sheamus tells Orton that he’s got this. Orton is sitting back too much these days.

Big Show was angry last night. He is obviously angling for a feud with Randy Orton since another feud with Sheamus will bore us to death. Sheamus and Orton talk more. Tweet my choice. #IDontGiveACare. After the commercial break, we get a match between them for a chance at Big Show. I do love the after Wrestlemania crowds. This is down right hilarious. RVD! JBL! Jerry! Michael Cole! Commercial break! ECW! Lawler is thinking the crowd might run out of chants. The announcers finally get to talking about the match too. The wave. Clubbering time. Randy Savage! HBK! White noise and the crowd boos. Missed Brogue Kick. The Big Show comes out. Sheamus into the post. Thank You Big Show! Finished off with a WMD on Orton. Nope, not finished off. Really setting up the feud. Big Show is looking impressive in the process.

Fandango comes out. Kofi Kingston gets to job. How the moderately powerful have fallen. I guess they didn’t want Kofi to job? Chris Jericho interferes. I’m fine with keeping the feud going. The announcers complain about their table being used again. Walls of Jericho that referees try to break it up. Code Breaker as the finale. The crowd loved it. They also love Fandango correcting Justin Roberts.

Paul Heyman is interviewed by Josh Matthews. He sells Brock Lesnar. Heyman moves on to CM Punk. He is going to let Punk do his talking next week on Raw. Interesting. I like the tease. The Bellas & Rhodes Scholars come out for the oops, we put P Diddy on the show instead of you. So what if the crowd crapped on Diddy. Tons of Funk & the Funkadactyls are out second. The crowd is loving Sandow. Double Splash on Sandow for the Tons of Funk win. We didn’t miss anything on Wrestlemania.

Holy crap, that’s a real shirt that John Cena is wearing. You couldn’t see the belt earlier. If anyone over 12 buys that, they deserve to be beaten senseless. Mark Henry is using the power to his advantage. Duh. Count out victory for John Cena. There we go, figured an attack was coming. Ryback comes out. So Cena will get another feud. Feed me more. He looks at Cena. Then offers a hand.  Cena goes to tje ropes. Hilarious. He’s got to be trolling the crowd. Meat Hook clothesline on Cena. Shell shock. Surprised this crowd is getting into Ryback this much. -Kevin

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of #WWE #Wrestlemania

Posted on April 7, 2013 by stuntgranny

my busy day

Alrighty, I’m actually starting on time after a busy day of making some great food. I got an assist from my woman who made dessert and from my neighbor who smoked some ribs and chicken. I hope everyone enjoyed the previews. I hope everyone had a perfect day like we did here in the fine city of Columbus. Enough about the day. It’s time for wrestling. Let’s roll.

Sheamus hits the ring first so we know they are winning. You always need a crowd pleasing win to start the show. Randy Orton & the Big Show join him on stage before they saunter to the ring. The Shield makes their group entrance. Roman Reigns starts the match for them along with Sheamus. Seth Rollins gets in some offense for the Shield. Dean Ambrose gets to show off how to take a beating from Show. I’m surprised that Show takes a beating early on. Why are the baby faces unclothing the heels? I hope Rollins is still alive. Dear lord that looked bad. Orton is the one that pisses off Big Show. Maybe we don’t see a baby face win. Dean Ambrose with the pin after a spear. Big Show slacked on breaking up the pin. The crowd seemed to like the outcome. I still want for them to do something more than three man matches. Big Show knocks both of them out. They needed to keep him heel so that’s one way to do it.

Mark Henry is the next one out of the shoot. I’m glad they’re giving me plenty of time to beer myself and my neighbors. Ryback gets the big second entrance. Henry gets the first offense. Pictures of the beer will be coming later. The Meat Hook clothesline gets busted out pretty early in Ryback’s offense. Nice way for Henry to get out of Shell Shock. Holy crap, he pinned him. That’s a pretty weak victory. Ah, Ryback is going to get the mojo back after a post match beat down. Isn’t that the job of the heel? I’m confused.

My boy Dolph Ziggler, Big E Langston & AJ Lee get thei first entrance. Kane & Daniel Bryan are the champs so they get the second entrance. Bryan almost gets the 18 second pin on Dolph who got a kiss from AJ. Langston shows off his strength against Kane. I’ll be surprised if Kaitlyn doesn’t make an appearance. Big E has some nice agility considering his background. Daniel Bryan wins with a flying head butt. My neighbors, woman & myself thought that the ref counted three on Kane earlier.

Stupid Lilian doesn’t know how to pronounce Fandango. When Chris Jericho was on Opie & Anthony on Thursday, you could tell he wasn’t very interested in this match. I haven’t looked that well at the set until now. We’ve got the Brooklyn Bridge, Empire State Building & Statue of Liberty. Of course a year I decide not to preview what the set might look like, they decide to go local on the set. JBL said he was surprised how long this match has gone. I’m not too surprised. The first hour moves pretty quick in most Wrestlemanias. Jericho kicks out of the top rope leg drop which I’m guessing is going to be his finisher. Jericho air balls the knees up. Good recovery by Jericho. Fandango wins with a small package. I’m better with that finish than I thought I’d be.

I find out that the Miz won the Intercontinental Championship with a figure four as Wade Barrett taps. I don’t care enough to turn into the preshow. Zeb Colter thinks people still speak Eyetalian in the US. Woof. Jack Swagger gets to pace. Alberto Del Rio gets the big entrance. The first thing I notice in the match is the giant brace that Del Rio is wearing. The match has been fine. I like Zeb denying the foot moving. Another interesting finish. Del Rio monkeys around with Colter. Swagger gets the drop on him. Del Rio locked in the cross arm breaker after Swagger got back into the ring. You’re still not Rey Mysterio.

Living Colour sounds much better than P Diddy/Sean Combs. CM Punk is sporting a Gracie Jiu Jitsu sweatshirt. I’ve got to think even more that Undertaker wins this one with it being this early on the card. Hard to believe this is the half way time of the show. I dig the people grabbing at Taker. My neighbor makes a good crack that hell is New Jersey. The wife part of the neighbors has noted that many wrestlers have gone purple for tonight’s outfit. Completely agree. Nice reversal of Old School. Even better of Punk to reverse it. Nothing happens until Punk gets crotched n his second Old School attempt. Heyman distracts Taker long enough so that Punk can nail a spring board clothes line. Macho Man elbow only gets two. Last Ride is reversed into a head kick. Punk isn’t heavy enough to break the table. Cool moment anyway. Taker beats the count. Hell’s Gate end sup leading to an Anaconda Vice. People go nuts for the Tombstone. People get a little deflated when Punk kicks out. People love Taker kicking out after the urn shot. 2nd Tombstone gets the win. People go bananas.

I wolfed down my woman’s cookies & cream cheese cake. It was awesome. Great food day even if we had a small lunch at Taco  Bell. Shawn Michaels came out first. Brock Lesnar comes out second. Weird. Dear lord. HHH tries to come up with creative entrances but they all end up sucking. He’s so losing after the fireworks went off. Glad HHH is going with some chest hair. The Spanish announce table finally breaks. I didn’t expect that. BRock goes to work on him in the ring. Lesnar is tossing HHH around tonight. German suplex to follow it up. And another one. I’m going to guess that there won’t be too many tables or ladders in this match. Michaels takes an F5. HHH follows with a Pedigree. It didn’t work. Lesnar with an F5 on HHH. Still only two. The ladies are grossed out by Lesnar’s boogie. Lesnar whacks HHH with the stairs. A second set of stairs only gets two. Kimura by Lesnar. HHH rams him into a corner. Lesnar sits on the top rope and locks back in the kimura. Spinebuster by HHH. Holy shit, the feed just froze as Lesnar runs into the ring post. Mother fucking WOW. I’ve seriously got to consider changing cable companies. HHH has the kimura locked in when I get the feed back. Lesnar slams HHH on the steps.  Repeat the cycle. And again. Well, it was a DDT on replay. Sledge hammer time, right to the head. Pedigree on the steps. HHH wins. Boo. Good match from what I saw. Wrestlemania is not where wrestlers go to die.

John Cena is a bad man. I like the solo entrance. He didn’t do one of his over the top entrances. Too bad he duck waddles when he runs. That’s an extra long ramp at Wrestlemania. The Rock takes his grand old time to get to the ring. We’ve got thirty nine minutes left as the bell rings. The crowd has sounded weird tonight. Did the crowd sound awful when we were in Orlando? That’s the last outdoor one I can remember. Texas, Phoenix, Atlanta, shit where were they last year? Anyway, they look more animated than the sound I hear most of the time. Taker match was the most clear to me. The match has moved along in the first seven minutes. Nothing of consequence. The missed flying tackle looked really ridiculous. Sharp Shooter by Rock. My neighbors aren’t buying it. They’re quick learners. Missed Five Knuckle Shuffle. STF after the Rock had a bit of offense. The crowd isn’t buying the urgency either. Five Knuckle Shuffle is hit. Rock Bottom after Cena being dismayed. Attitude Adjustment. No one is still surprised. Too much time left in the broadcast. People’s Elbow only gets a two count. Cena kicks out of another Rock Bottom. The crowd is back into it. Attitude Adjustment after a Five Knuckle Shuffle attempt by the Rock. Would have been poetic justice but they pass on it. Cena gets two from a Rock Bottom. Cena goes back to the People’s Elbow. Cena stops at the ropes. Rock Bottom. Another kick out. DDT by the Rock but he waits for Cena. Rock drops another mother fucker. Attitude Adjustment for the win. Duh. We’ll wait for part III. They shake and hug after the match. The Rock looks unhappy. They aren’t foreshadowing a third match up at all. -Kevin

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Wrestlemania 29 (NY/NJ) Previews Part I

Posted on April 3, 2013 by stuntgranny

TheShield

Since Jeremy agreed that he wouldn’t be doing previews as I had predicted on Monday, I’m going written for the previews. I’m hoping to do two matches a day including on Sunday. We’ll see if it happens or if I end up stacking them up because I can’t get to them. I’ll be separating them into pairs with one good match and one bad match.

Bad Match

Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett defending against The Miz: We saw The Miz headline Wrestlemania two short years ago in Atlanta. Now he’s get to start the show off…on Facebook/Youtube/WWE App/Tout/Whatever. Wade Barrett was the next big thing until an elbow injury derailed him. I don’t feel bad for the Miz because his character has been stuck in a rut since we last saw him. He was great as a company pitch man when he went on Opie & Anthony recently but it doesn’t change his stale act. I do feel bad for Barrett though. Just as in sports, a man shouldn’t lose his starting job because of injury. I feel like Barrett did. His character got some polishing up during his re-introduction so he’s gone through more change than the Miz. The Intercontinental Belt is a meaningless object though. Most of the time, when someone drops it, they’re finally ready for bigger and better things. Prediction: The Miz becomes the next Chris Jericho and starts racking IC Title reigns.

Good Match

The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins) against The Main Eventers (The Big Show, Randy Orton & Sheamus): I’m stretching to put this one in the good category. I have enjoyed the Shield though even if their terrorist inspired videos are too polished. I do think they’ll need to do something more than search for justice after Wrestlemania. I’ve enjoyed the bickering between Big Show and Sheamus. They should be since they were involved in a bitter nearly year long feud. Did I ever doubt that the Big Show would be on the team? Not even when they introduced Ryback who had already been building to a feud with Mark Henry. The match should be a good one as the three season vets should be able to help out a team that hasn’t seen much in ring work in the WWE. Prediction: The Shield finally goes down so we can move on to their next phase.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Posted on April 1, 2013 by stuntgranny

Socrates You're Drunk

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania. I had no idea that “Go Home, You’re Drunk” was a meme. I’m not exactly excited by this show. In fact, when I heard Michelle Beadle and Sam Roberts talking about it on After Opie & Anthony Live talking about how excited they were for Wrestlemania since it’s in “New York City” that I wanted to puke. All I could think to myself was “They have got to be putting up a facade to get interviews.” Maybe some people are enjoying this build up. I don’t know how though. I’ll save more of those thoughts for a written preview because I know I can’t rope Jeremy into a match by match preview like we’ve done in years past. Let’s roll.

We’ve got a Shawn Michaels tease to start. I have to explain Paul Bearer to my woman. She hasn’t watched in a while. John Cena gets to start us off in the ring. She just told me that the crowd no sold Cena’s Johnson joke. Good for them. There’s just nothing new here. John, you don’t need to sell us on your win. There’s way too much money in a part III.

Okay, Jeremy warned me about the same old matches. Naturally, the first match is a rerun. Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show get to squash 3MB. The blank check joke from Lawler gets no sold by Cole & JBL. Good for them. Three finishers. The Shield starts walking down from the crowd. They get their promo time instead of ring time.

Jack Swagger & Zeb Colter are stopping traffic. I think. I definitely saw a biker go past them. My woman is unenthused about Wrestlemania already. We The People. Matt Striker might be an upgrade. Alberto Del Rio gives us the same speech he’s given before.

Dolph Ziggler doesn’t get an entrance because he’s not important. Daniel Bryan is taking him on. The match is occurring while I set the table again. I can’t remember though if it’s a tag team match or a six person at Wrestlemania. It’s a tag team match. The guys are putting on a good match in the mean time. If someone is surprised, they haven’t watched much wrestling. Dolph with the cheap roll up. Post match beat down by Big E Langston. The switch for him on Kane was a nice touch. Hey, two positive things!

Shawn Michaels gets to give us a Wrestlemania run down. He tells us about the three important matches. HHH interrupts him before he can go anywhere. Michaels got to skip the goofy part of the promo. He delivers a great promo. Brock Lesnar comes down but Paul Heyman does all of the talking. Another good build up. What the hell is going on, you’re blowing up my theory.

The Miz and Wade Barrett get a special match on Youtube and Facebook. The Miz is in the booth. Barrett gets to squash Zack Ryder. I feel bad for him even more. Ryder is adding muscle and he still isn’t getting anywhere. The WWE wouldn’t be on Youtube if it weren’t for him. Well, they’d probably would have gotten there but he sped things up. The Miz didn’t over do the suit today. Bull Hammer Elbow. Brad Maddox is talking to Vickie Guerrero. Santino gives us the news that Vince McMahon is in the arena. April Fool’s joke. I wasn’t even thinking about that possibility. Marella gets a match out of it.

(more…)

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Posted on February 11, 2013 by stuntgranny

San Jose at CBJ

Time to motor thru an episode of Raw. I’ll fill in the amusing details of the Columbus Blue Jackets experience later.

Paul Heyman gets to pontificate to start the show. After a recap of course. He is doing a great job of selling himself as the victim. CM Punk wants things to go back to normal. Heyman mouthing “Thank you God” is hilarious. My girl disagrees. I thought they both solid the sickening love-fest well.

The Great Khali gets to lose to Mark Henry for the I don’t know how many-eth time. The girl starts the hate on Henry because he has small eyeballs. World’s Strongest Slam. Henry stalks Hornswoggle. The crowd chants “One more time” as Lawler complains.

Booker T & Teddy Long are trying to talk jive when Chris Jericho arrives. Y2J wants in the Chamber. He has to beat someone who is in the Chamber already. He has to beat Daniel Bryan. Booker tries not to laugh at Jericho. We get our GM fill with Vickie Guerrero. Paul Heyman wants time. He gets speaker phone time with Vince. They go with the DQ title change over stipulation. Seems like a good bickering point when Punk loses. I look up this video because of “The Dazzler” signs in the crowd.

Chris Jericho is out after the break. Bryan is starting to look really weird. The wet hair is a special odd ball touch. Fun match until the break. No surprise out of these two. This match has show cased Bryan as much as any recent match. Nice reversal into the No Lock. Sort of. Code Breaker. Jericho is in the Chamber. Fun match. I’d love to see them in a longer match.

Ryback, Sheamus & John Cena get to decimate 3MB. Sometimes it’s hard to believe Drew McIntyre was anointed by Vince about the same time Sheamus broke in. Triple finisher. I want to puke. Triple promo. Double puke. Alex Riley & Yoshi Tatsu get camera time just to get beat up by Big Show. Congrats guys.

The Big Show knocks out Matt Striker to start the interview. Then says nothing. Interesting.

Jack Swagger gets a manager. Zeb Colter is his name. I think. Zack Ryder gets to lose to him. Patriot Act. Snooze. Rinse, repeat. Take your choice. Swagger introduces Colter. He gives the standard “We hate the foreigners” trope. Booker T puts Swagger in the Elimination Chamber. Dolph Ziggler shows off his briefcase. He wants in the Chamber. Big E Langston speaks up. Booker T has an opponent in mind. It’s Kane.

Cody Rhodes gets downgraded already by getting to lose to the Miz while Antonio Cesaro is in the booth. The Miz attacks Cesaro so they won’t sacrifice Cody. Nice choice. The Miz swinging was a nice touch by Cesaro.

Brodus Clay & Tensai are still teaming. Only way to be a good tag team now, odd couple. I wish Rosa Mendes was dancing. Epico & Primo are getting rag dolled. Tensai splash for the win. The Funkettes take out Rosa Mendes. The flip over the top ropes was pretty sweet.

Dean Ambrose starts off the talking for the Shield. They all get their turns. They make a threat. The faces wait it out and turn out the lights. I have no idea how any one of the Shield wins at EC. They’ve had their asses handed to them in any even handed situation for their whole run.

Damien Sandow gets the mic. He runs down country music in a much more high brow manner than anyone ever. I do feel welcome. Alberto Del Rio is his opponent. Wow, Sandow dropped that elbow way too early. This match is ending with a quickness. Cross arm breaker. At least Cody got protected with a DQ. Wade Barrett gets attacked by Bo Dallas as he goes to the ring for a match.

Kofi Kingston is Barrett’s opponent. Barrett uses the old Fit Finlay apron trick. Wow, it knocked out Kingston. Oh, it was the Bull Hammer Elbow. Makes more sense.

I’m finally at Kane versus Dolph Ziggler. It should be the other match worth watching on this ridiculously long show. Snooze city before the break. Big E tries to intimidate Kane. It buys Ziggler time. Kane choke slams Ziggler even after AJ’s distraction. Ziggler is looking like such a tool these days. I just don’t get it.

The Rock starts talking at 11 PM. I only tape until 11:10. I could miss the ending. The Rock goes story time. CM Punk interrupts. The ladies love a shirtless Rock. Heyman trips the Rock. Punk nails the GTS. Hey, a heel got over going into a PPV. They got something right. -Kevin

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Stunt Granny Audio: 2013 WWE Royal Rumble Review

Posted on January 28, 2013 by stuntgranny
Jesus Christ; such predictable bullshit.

Jesus Christ; such predictable bullshit.

Well, we did a preview show so we may as well do a review show right? So, here it is. Jeremy and Kevin talk the Royal Rumble in all its glory and warts. Was there really any doubt as to the outcomes of the Royal Rumble and the WWE Title match? Who just discovered “a Goldust?”  Who surprised in the Rumble match? Have Kane and Daniel Bryan lost their touch? Is the WWE turning in to ROH? Was this PPV or any for that matter worth the price? All of these questions are answered and a whole lot more. Oh yeah, they also discuss the winner of the Royal Rumble contest and laugh at who had the worst draw of all those who played. So get to downloading.

Stunt Granny Audio Show- 2013 WWE Royal Rumble Review

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Posted on December 10, 2012 by stuntgranny

office-christmas-party-rules

What a strange start to the evening. I’m not even talking about watching American Horror Story: Asylum. I’ll get into that later. Maybe. I’m being told about the shenanigans at my girl’s office party. That’s going to be a blast on Friday.

The intro reminded me of a problem the WWE has, technology isn’t always your friend. The videos from the Shield are too crisp. A promotion like Prime Wrestling, though less advanced in technology department, lends itself to this type of video. Krimson has been the king of them. They look gritty and real. The Shield’s videos, again, are nicely produced and use the static photoshop function. It’s like a high tech Instagram. Dolph Ziggler gets to start the show. Nice. He cuts a solid promo. Sheamus gets to throw some jabs at him. I like the new shirt but I have a column up my sleeve talking about t shirt differences with other companies. The Big Show gets to warn Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler. Sheamus dumps Ziggler to the outside to end things. About par for the course for my boy. No respect.

Antonio Cesaro & Kofi Kingston are at the announce desk with Wade Barrett when Vince McMahon comes out to cut a promo. What the fuck is going on? Are those three gentlemen supposed to get a rub? My woman is on to Vickie Guerrero’s wardrobe again. She’s pretty sure she only wears one pair of shoes. I think we missed Vickie being given a match against AJ Lee later in the night. R Truth comes out after that frankenpromo. I’m not sure what happened to Kofi’s mic skills. Cesaro isn’t any better behind the headset. Barrett loses to R Truth with a roll up. I want toss my computer. Why are you doing that to Barrett?

AJ Lee is excited backstage. She even hugs Kaitlyn. AJ walks into the men’s locker room. This could be the funniest thing John Cena has ever done. The Prime Time Players, Epico & Primo and the Usos are in the ring while Cody Rhodes comes to the ring with a pedo mustache. The two teams no one cares about start the thing. Mitchell Cool ripping Lawler for the reused jokes. Awesome. Primo gets pinned. No one cares that a commercial is happening.

Jey Uso is working over Damien Sandow. I’ve been surprised, holy shit, they beat the PTP during the commercial break? I was talking about the Usos. They do get an oddly good reaction as I noted in my live report. The third frog splash gets the knees. Cody with the Cross Rhodes. The right team won.

Alicia Fox is wearing a Marines inspired outfit. First time I’ve taken note of her in a while. Eve Torres is her opponent because they’ve got no idea what to do with the Diva’s Division. Why did Eve kick out after faking the injury? Alicia looking awfully strong. Eve with the neck breaker. Snooze. She’s posing over Alicia Fox. OK, kind of funny.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live & Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Posted on December 3, 2012 by stuntgranny

funny-baby-faces-piercing

The babyfaces prominently figure into the review of Smackdown and Raw from last week. We’re off and running too with Kane & Daniel Bryan coming out to start the show. The Shield are in a luxury box. Kane gives the normal manhood challenge. The Shield does the normal heel tactic of standing around. The Prime Time Players are caught in the middle of another angle. They won’t get traction this way no matter how long you keep them together. Dean Ambrose is left alone a short time into the match. Mitchell Cool is slowly going back to heel mode which is better than his previous incarnation. At least the WWE is smart enough to have security with The Shield.

The Shield keeps moving closer to the ring after the break. The big story is on the outside which brings me to the point above. Lawler was trying to sell them the whole match. Daniel Bryan with the cheap roll up win after near interference. The Shield is snuffing out some injustice. I’m trying to sell my girl on The Shield snuffing out the injustice of being an undeserving, character driven wrestler or tandem. John Cena & Sheamus have witty banter. I’m glad Sheamus has retired the Irish stories for the most part. He finishes strong.

“This man again?” pipes up the girl when they introduce Tamina. She is giving AJ Lee a lesson way too early for this feud. Of course AJ gets the cheap roll up win because the women aren’t worth a full on, to a pay per view feud. They officially get squashed when CM Punk almost immediately shows up.

Paul Heyman does all of the talking. He stole the Mount Rushmore gimmick from us. CM Punk is telling some tall tales. He denies alliance with Brad Maddox and The Shield. He asks people to leave the arena. Oh no, Jeremy warned me about this. The Miz is in a no win situation. He needs to get rid of the “Really?” crutch. Punk throwing down the proverbial punk card. The Miz wants him on his show for a lie detector test. Really? Pipe Bonn? You really screwed the pooch, Mike. The Miz must have been on Law & Order as an assistant DA.

John Cena & Sheamus come out to start the 9 PM hour. Should I compliment Cena on finally using black and gold? I’m liking Sheamus’s new shirt. Not the best thing but I’ve seen worse. The Big Show & Dolph Ziggler come down in time to have a slow start to a match before a commercial break at about 9:03. The opposites attract for the in ring work. Baby Momma Drama & The Girl try to team up on me about Dolph Ziggler and Kent State. John Cena gets the hot tag against Ziggler. Wow, another clean win for Cena over Ziggler. What the fuck are they doing with my boy? Shit or get off the pot with him. Why does he even have that brief case? Dear lord, they give The Miz more time but with his old show introduction.

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Posted on November 19, 2012 by stuntgranny

The picture above is the state of my cable presently. It decided that USA HD wasn’t worth taping either. I turned over just in time to see Randy Orton get the first fall against Alberto Del Rio. He’s burned thru every other possible PPV opponent on TV so why not restart with Del Rio? Dear lord. My cable company isn’t answering their phones either right now. It’s fabulous. Randy Orton wins the third fall. They both continue to tread water. I’m guessing I didn’t miss a whole lot in the first 1:15. I feel better about having watched The Walking Dead instead of checking to see if Raw was recording. Replays are finally worth watching. My girl thinks it quite gross to see John Cena kiss AJ Lee. She’s still doesn’t think it’s a kid’s angle appropriate for PG programming. I am unconvincing.

For some reason, we have a Great Khali vs Epico & Primo match. Hornswoggle is hitting on Rosa at ring side. Hornie has trick flowers. Khali wins. No one cares about anyone involved. Paul Heyman wants balloons. Yikes. Really glad I missed the beginning.

The Miz tries to get his babyface turn off the launch pad with his third Ohio date in seven days against David Otunga. I’m digging Otunga on the offense. I’m still perplexed as to how his mic skills are his worst part of his persona now. Lawler tries to sell Miz because he’s left handed. You could have done more to help out King. Skull Crushing Finale for the win. The WWE shows why I shouldn’t purchase a PPV because they show end of the Big Show vs Sheamus.

More replays fill me in. They’ve given Ryback an extension of this feud with CM Punk by way laying him with three nobodies. Sheamus gets to talk before his match. The crowd is giving him the “What?” treatment. Weird. Don’t fans normally reserve that for heels? Big Show hobbles out to the ramp. Wow, Sheamus gets accused of being barbaric. Both sides seemed wrong. Sheamus is bitching about what a heel did. Show sounds like a giant sissy for calling someone barbaric. Aren’t you building him up as a bad ass? Damien Sandow comes down for his arse kicking. Why is Lawler excited about the Punk celebration? Shouldn’t he be mad at him for being a braggart? I don’t think I’m missing anything. A beard tossing takes us to commercial.

Sandow is in control after the break. My girl is telling me a ridiculous story. I’m so not paying attention to this match. White Noise looks more harmful than Shell Shock. Brogue Kick. Tamina is talking to Vickie Guerrero. AJ comes in to talk to her. Vickie is supposed to be evil. I’m just not buying it.

Layla tells AJ it’s not worth it. AJ storms into the men’s locker room. For some reason everyone is in one room. She confronts my boy Dolph Ziggler. She is a shell of a woman. He’s a dick. Him, I’m buying. She attacks him. Cena makes the save. Ziggler plows Cena thru some obviously weakened partitions.

What the hell, there’s a trainers office? I’m digging the background action. Just looks like people working somewhere. Titus O’Neil and Darren Young get some mic time. We have a cavalcade of entrances with Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Daniel Bryan and Kane. Oh, it’s a traditional tag team match. I figured we’d be having another 8 man tag match. O’Neil is taking up air time but I’m not digging it. Commercial break. O’Neil calls Lawler “Old School” after a wash rag comment. You’ve just made a dozen heart attack jokes. Yes, he’s old. He had a god damn heart attack. Listen to yourself. King is having fun giving a hard time to these guys. O’Neil & Young end up attacking Kane. Sin Cara makes the save. Double 619. People are loving a three peat. Fitting end for PTP. Paul Heyman is talking up the party for CM Punk, to Punk himself. Punk is giddy.

Paul Heyman gets to give the big intro. Punk is going with a self serving promo. It’s not bad but he’s not reeling me in either. Ryback interrupts but gets attacked by Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. Punk saunters over to Ryback and raises his arms in victory. Best part of his promo.  -Kevin

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