The funny thing about these long Raw opening segments is that they are rarely worth the time. This week Paul Heyman and Brock opened the show and when Paul Heyman said he has three hour’s worth of material I thought” OK, let’s hear it.” Yes, the idea of Paul Heyman berating The Undertaker for three hours would have been worth sacrificing the entire show. It was a bit strange hearing Paul Heyman state they were showing compassion towards the referee and the timekeeper. Compassion has never been part of the Brock character so why start now?

As Paul talked did anyone else notice how legit angry Brock appeared? Imagine him being that mad for real at you? The interruption by Bo Dallas was pretty much perfect. Sure Bo could be used a bit more but his kickable face was exactly what Brock needed here. I would have preferred, in the spirit of compassion, for Brock to actually talk and offer Bo the option of getting out in one piece.  It is a small thing and regardless the segment was hot and got the crowd jumping.

It must also be noted that the segment did end awkwardly. Did Brock have enough? Why did he leave instead of waiting on the Undertaker? The announcers could have filled in a gap there but they are ridiculously terrible. No really, there is no cohesion between the three and it is clear as day they are just reading lines instead of being invested in anything happening right before their eyes.

As if the show couldn’t get any better New Day being out net kept a hot crowd a burning. The subtle change for New Day’s entrance is a bit of a letdown. How can we be deprived of Big E skipping down the ramp on a weekly basis now? Xavier Woods on trombone was really remarkable unlike the singing their singing voices. Woof. Allowing New Day these sort of opportunities is only going to make them cooler for the fans. Edge and Christian did the same thing and it made them incredibly popular. The same thing is going to happen here.

This was the best decision possible for the group. The decision I speak of is Xavier Woods playing a trombone. Every match should end with Taps being played as the referee administers the three count. How the hell did New Day become my favorite act so fast?

The Dudley Boys were a huge surprise. Having gotten away from reading spoilers and “dirtsheets” on a daily basis I had no idea they were scheduled for Raw, let alone a WWE return. There wasn’t much more to this segment though as it carried over the greatness of the beginning of the show. Oh yeah, there is one thing. Why, oh why, are the Prime Time Players constantly on commentary? This isn’t their bag. Darren Young routinely doesn’t talk and the three worthless announcers give them nothing to feed off of. The PTP and New day feud should be a big thing with some bold personalities but only one team is carrying the stick. Not sure it is exactly the Prime Time Players fault but they need to do backstage interviews or vignettes. Hopefully the Dudleys will drag something out of them because Bubba can talk and will crush them if they don’t step up.

So that statue bit was pretty cool. Keeping it under wraps gives away the eventual statue “reveal”. There was no way the curtain and hiding bit was going to be used later in the show for anything but someone standing in its place. If you didn’t figure this out, well, I can’t help you.

Rematches of PPV matches on free TV should always be a negative. While there was nothing wrong with the match it is the fact that people paid, yes people still buy PPVs like idiots, only to see it for free but in a slightly different way the next night. Even with the WWE Network this should still not be a practice. You shouldn’t hype and event and then redo parts of it the very next night. Besides that the match was good and we had the debut of the Luke Harper Gun Show. I asked Shahid when he started flexing and neither of us could tell. Doesn’t really matter when he started as long as he continues doing so. He is far more unique than Bray Wyatt is now and no one seemingly notices this. When the lights went out I said “Here’s Eric Rowan” and boy was I wrong. How WWE has pulled of two very unique surprises overall, not just this show, is beyond me. I hope it is a trick they continue. The newest member fo the Wyatt Family, as he was introduced , is Braun Stowman. He has been with WWE since 2013. I don’t remember him on any NXT shows or anything for that matter. Job well done WWE, he fits the group a bit better than Eric since he has the awful unkempt hair. He also is friggin gigantic. Luke Harper is a big big person and he looked average next to him. The announcers, being told to say this obviously, even pointed out this fact. Not sure what it all means for Eric Rowan, who had steadily improved, but a four man unit with those men is very intimidating. It also helps the tag team division but unfortunately The Wyatt family doesn’t care about titles.

When my hand goes up the shows momentum goes down. Another talking segment with the Divas, regardless of who is involved, is not what this so called Divas revolution needs. It needs some one on one matches already. Nikkie Bellas reported back injury may be holding things up a bit but let’s move things along already. Miz TV is not the correct venue for getting over personalities. Women sitting around gabbing isn’t going to do a damn thing. Fight already.

Another women’s six man tag match so exactly what the show didn’t need. Where the hell was Team BAD as well? The crowd chanted for Sasha Banks and nothing. Alicia Fox suddenly becoming credible is pretty stupid as well. She has nothing behind her but yet gets the pinfall after Nikki this Paige. Ok I am for that I suppose but no more tag matches of any kind.

What needs to be said is the fact the Brooklyn crowd turned total douchebag. Better yet, the sheen wore off them exposing them as total douche bags. Look, the tag match is not what was needed there but it was good. Instead of getting invested in the match as they did with everyone else they started a wave. The started chanting JBL and whatever else. I forget because I was too busy giving myself a headache by rolling my eyes and thinking “Fuck this crowd” over and over again. Making matters worse was the announce team drawing attention to the crowds reactions. This was the perfect opportunity for one of these empty heads to step up and get on them for being stupid. Instead JBL says the crowd is smart since they are chanting his name and Michael Cole says “This is shades of last year’s Raw after WrestleMania” or something. I don’t know exactly since I was too busy saying “Fucking no talent asses” as they stammered on.

Look, no one should expect the women to be taken seriously overnight. It has been years since the WWE Divas were treated as anything but eye candy in five minute matches. NXT:Takeover had a fully invested crowd for bailey and Sasha and maybe one day all the diva matches will get there. Right now though the WWE women need the help of everyone in a creative position. They aren’t getting it outside of the crowd being told they are important and their matches. Either get fully invested with these talented women or just cut it out. It starts with producing more than tag matches and for the announcers to talk their merits instead of how repeating how this is a revolution with the sincerity or an area rug.

Stardust is entertaining and talented. King Barret is talented. Notice I left off entertaining. Not his fault his character sucks. What happened to the bareknuckle fighter version of Barrett that was a badass?

I liked the John Stewart explanation just fine. I liked Ric Flair looking healthy and engaged. I did not like John Cena, the face of the company, acting like a bully and attacking John Stewart. The crowd, which really shouldn’t matter at this point, didn’t like it. Online reaction didn’t like to and it mad Cena look terrible. He didn’t have to be happy the explanation or his actions but a babyface, the face of your company, the guy who has granted 500 Make-A-Wish  wishes, attacked a 50 year old man and showed no remorse. Good work. It seriously seemed like creative took the night off after writing the first 90 minutes of the show.

On a side note, I have terrible friends. It wasn’t the amount of dead kid jokes I received after John Cena granted his 500th wish. It was the speed in which they all came at me.

Is there going to be a payoff for Big Show? He got beat up by his own teammates and then all of the faces. Yeah, the faces all ganged up on one person and beat him down. How very WWE logic of them. If this is Big Shows swansong then he may as well just stay home as this is doing him no favors and someone his sized cannot appreciate having his body abused for no damn reason.  Give the guy a nice send off or book him better. This got no one over and gave sympathy for the giant heel. Really, the writing team just gave up right?

Bray Wyatt tells us who the new guy is in case you didn’t have the internet. Why not save this for next week’s Raw or even Smackdown? I guess Smackdown doesn’t rate at all so why waste it there?

Cena gets escorted with his hands behind his back by security. He wasn’t handcuffed and those weren’t police. It cements Cena as a giant bully since he won’t pick on people his own size.

Can you tell the show just sort of sucked after the Divas match? Did Miz forget to put his hand down?

I liked the Happy Birthday part of the end even if it didn’t jive with the segment at all. Sometimes you gotta shoot am I right? It would have been better if Vince would have cut the audio and they all sang but no one at home could hear them. Having no audio would have saved us from hearing Cole, JBL and Saxton “sing.” By the way, where was that pizza Saxton ordered? Seriously, ordering Pizza with an emoji? How do they know where to deliver it? How does Dominos what you want on it? How do they know the size? All of these questions go unanswered and I am not going to find out for myself. I am a god damn adult. I can use the internet just fine. Man I sound old but that is really stupid. Look I can send a picture of what I want over twitter and it magically comes to me. Are we slowly rolling back to the age of hieroglyphics? Are our alien masters preparing to return?

Sting.

Sting?

Really, Sting?

Sting versus Seth Rollins?

Sting versus Seth Rollins for the WWE title?

The writing staff really did take off after the first 90 minutes of the show didn’t they? The surprise was cool if you like Sting. I do not.

Logically this makes no sense. Sting lost to Triple H at WrestleMania 31 and hasn’t been seen since. However, that victory at WrestleMania must have had dire psychological consequences for Triple H since he was terrified of Sting. Sting, the guy who comes back with his makeup messed up by the way and gets a title shot.

If this leads to John Cena costing Sting the title and then going full heel I am for it. Since there is no chance this happens the only curious part about this match will be the reaction of John “The Bully” Cena. Does he attack Sting for taking his spot or does he say he just wants the United States title for whatever reason?

It is weird how a show starts off so hot and creatively so appealing only for the wheels to fall off. It wasn’t terrible but it was the same old uninspired RAW. Pretty disappointing end really even if the appearance was cool. I understand the value of Sting but not as a wrestler and not as a main event player going for a title. His feud with Triple H sucked as did his match because they had to cover his limitations. The impending cluster between Sting and Seth is not going to be fun. No fun at all.