Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #TNA #ImpactWrestling

Posted on April 25, 2013 by stuntgranny

repeater_300dpiI’m repeating my weekend travel plans from last week except I’m going for my girl’s grandmother’s 92nd birthday. So in order to clean off the DVR, let’s roll.

I forgot that they were going to be at IUP. James Storm is in the ring. AJ Styles is in the stands. Bad Influence joins them. I do like their sales pitch. Aces & Eights are beating up Storm again. The rest of the people who have been beat up suck. Joseph Park sucks the least. 3D thru the table so he can feel his Abyss roots.

Aces & Eights are still in the ring so that they can suck the energy out of the room. They beat up all of our heroes. Why didn’t they deliver that promo before the break? It was a short promo then you reset after the commercial break. Tazz tried to sound tough before another commercial break. Yep, thanks for making two segments suck instead of one.

Taryn Terrell is fighting Tara. The only thing catching my attention are Tazz & Tenay fighting like sixth graders. Then Tazz notes that ODB is sober. Yep, they let Taryn hang around to get the cheap pin when Tara got cocky. Always a decent way to build up a babyface without hurting the heel. People don’t care.

Rob Terry is taking on Jesse. I feel bad for this crowd. What did they do to deserve this? Robbie E saves Jesse from a pin. Weird spine buster type move for the win by Terry. Woof.

Bad Influence tries to recruit Bobby Roode. We get reruns of Jeff Hardy losing. Good for Chris Sabin coming back. He’s a tough cookie.

Austin Aries confronts Bobby Roode about getting Fortune back together. He makes several good points himself. I guess they’re gunning for the World Tag Team Titles. Chavo & Hernandez have the belts but seem like after thoughts in this match. The baby faces get to take advantage of an arguing team. Wow, Hernandez looked like he may have hurt himself. I’m not surprised. The match has been pretty good as a over all though. Kaz runs interference. Daniels interference back fires. Frog Splash win.

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@ImpactWrestling Twitter Compilation & Aftermath

Posted on July 6, 2012 by stuntgranny

Tweet: We’re now following @REALBully5150 because of another fun exchange between Joseph Park & him. The sentence was long. Park > Abyss. Aftermath: You can follow us @Stuntgranny just in case you’re new to the site. Ray started off slow but his mic work was better with Park in the ring. I’m so happy to not see the Abyss gimmick. It’s such a hacky rip off that just about anything he’d do other than it would be better. Park happens to be a fun, unimposing baby face which doesn’t get used enough.Good segment.

Tweet: Why did the Aries & Hogan feel like they taped in separate studios? Aftermath: They talked past each other because neither of their egos could share the camera. Bad segment.

Tweet: I’m finally getting sucked into this dumb AJ Styles story line. Still not worth the garbage that came before. Aftermath: They interviewed Dixie Carter about the father of Claire’s kid. This material has turned me because it’s very Jerry Springer or Maury with the whole baby daddy material. It’d crack me up with Kaz, Daniels & Styles had to take paternity tests. Good segment.

Tweet: Crimson dropping like a rock. First Morgan, now Devon who in no way needs that win. AJ Lee >>>>>>>>>> Madison Rayne. Aftermath: Devon is a good steady hand. Crimson still needs help. Did I use enough greater than symbols? Bad segment.

Tweet: Sabin didn’t feel real to me. Roode played his part well. Aftermath: I can’t add more.

Tweet: Flip Cassanova is fighting @JohnnyGargano ‘s clone who is related the Demolition Man. Good to see #PRIMEWrestling represent. Aftermath: Flip is still a bit sloppy & caused Dakota Darsow’s likely broken nose. Flip does look like’s he’s improved even with the problems.

Tweet: Glad that Tenay & Taz explained Gail Kim’s clause like it was a hostage situation. They call the match fine right after. Tweet #2: Why did the champ just get the sucker finisher then pin? Tara doesn’t need to look that strong. Aftermath: It felt like Al Qaeda dropped in thirty seconds then left. Bad match for the ladies which was made worse by Tara hitting the Widow’s Peak then letting Tessmacher hit her finisher too. Gail shouldn’t be getting her comeuppance the week before a title match. Bad segment.

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News We Missed: Chris Sabin, Animal Planet, Randy Orton & Kelly Kelly

Posted on June 19, 2012 by stuntgranny

Since we haven’t had a news round up in a while, let’s move on for some small ditties. According to Prowrestling.net, Chris Sabin has torn his other ACL and will be out of action again. You’ve got to feel bad for this guy after being back for no more than two months to have it happen again. Granted, he wasn’t going anywhere since his partner in crime Alex Shelley bolted for some pasture that isn’t even as green as TNA. Maybe Sabin can help design TNA’s video game. Oh that’s right, they’re only good enough to have a board game.

Staying in Impact Wrestling, Eric Young will be hosting a program on Animal Planet called “Off The Hook: Extremes Catches”. His first episode will feature how he keeps catching a contract from Dixie Carter. In the second episode, EY will be explaining how he caught ODB as his wife. In the third episode, we’ll find out what Young can catch in his beard. By the time the fourth episode is ready to air, Animal Planet will realize they’ve wasted more money on EY than TNA so they’ll mercifully cancel the show.

Last but not least, both Randy Orton & Kelly Kelly are set to make returns to the WWE. Orton will be ready to go when the WWE visits Cincinnati for Monday Night Raw. I can’t wait for HHH to come out and rip on him for how skinny Orton has become during his hiatus. Kelly Kelly will be sleeping with the guys in the back starting this coming Monday. She will stick around long enough for the WWE to mention Maxim’s Hot 100 enough to make guys feel like that outdated magazine means anything. If you do like that magazine, I feel sorry for your penis when you jerk off. -Kevin

Filed under: Kevin's Blog, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Kevin’s Blog: #iMPACTWrestling – For The Hell of It

Posted on April 29, 2012 by stuntgranny

I need this head scratcher to figure out Hogan's Open Fight Night concept.

I know I mentioned this in an audio recently but I’m not sure I mentioned it in this space. My levels of reviews are Definitely or Almost Live which happens the night of the show. A Day Late & A Dollar Short is, duh, the next day. For The Hell Of It title says I just want to put content on the site. I’d imagine anyone that wanted to read a review of these shows has done it already. I’m throwing some pity because of their dismal ratings news. Plus, I know I won’t review the show on time this coming week. I have a ticket to go see Mick Foley & the Reverend Bob Levy on Thursday. I’m excited.

I want to vomit already. Hulk Hogan just called Samoa Joe & Brutus Magnus the greatest tag team ever. OK, well, only one champ each “Fight Night” can be called out? Or is Hogan just assigning one title match and the rest of the champs can still be called out? Devon comes out and calls out Bully Ray. I guess the champ can call someone out. All of the roster is hanging out together. Um, why? Just watch from your locker room. Bully Ray turns down the challenge. Shouldn’t Hogan have come out and enforced his won rules? Devon starts the match by attacking Bully Ray on the ramp. At least Taz called the Dudleys the greatest tag team of all time. He was trying to correct Hogan’s nonsense. They probably aren’t but they’re closer than the other clowns. Nothing happening before the commercial break.

Taz & Mike Tenay are praising the concept but doing nothing to help define it. The action has been pretty solid. It’s all familiar stuff. It makes sense they’re going for big shots and power moves. Devon gets the win after a spine buster. I would have liked to have seen him get some more offense in before the pin fall. Austin Aries talks about not being impressed with Bully Ray. Ric Flair is asked about the proper send off for Eric Bischoff. According to Flair, Eric is the greatest promoter of all time. Yep, I’m sure that’s why “his” company got bought by WWE.

Kazarian & Christopher Daniels talked to Kurt Angle. He yells at them for helping him because he doesn’t need anyone’s help. OK then. Jeremy Borash came to the ring. He says that Eric Bischoff is the biggest prick the company has ever had. Borash wants to fight him. Bischoff comes down clapping. As Eric talks, Bully Ray low blows JB. Bischoff pulls his leg up and gets the pin. JB could have kicked out. Ball shots hurt but prove a point. And why does a leaving heel need heat? Or this much camera time? Boy I can’t think of why they’re rating is below 1.0.

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Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Posted on April 13, 2012 by stuntgranny

I’m doing this blog because I’m pissed about the Penguins booting a second consecutive game. I’m hoping they can return the favor in Philly. Sunday is huge. No excuses here. Philly played better after giving up the initial goals early in both games. You should win any game you score five goals in. Oh well, it’s sports. Once you’ve gone thru real bull shit, this doesn’t look as important. I’m still pretty pissed though. Why else would I be carping?

Fry The Delivery Guy is going to be doing us a solid. He’s going to Lockdown and he’s going to help us bring some extra content. Probably in the verbal variety but we’ve got to work out the details. Let’s roll.

This crowd is awesome. A “We Don’t Care” chant. We don’t care about this guys. Eric Bischoff introduces his team. I don’t care. Garrett Bischoff only announces Mr. Anderson who is going to take on Gunner. We got a commercial. I forgot that the best of three series gets the first in privileges. They tease Garrett’s other team members. Boy, I don’t know, maybe it’ll be the people who are feuding with Eric’s team members? Wow, what a stupid baby face. Anderson gets himself DQed. The crowd evens out chants by chanting “Anderson”. Dummies.

Eric Young is talking to himself. Joseph Park introduces himself. The camera guy gets cute and shows a shot in the mirror. For some reason Park is grilling EY about Abyss. He seemed to give up the second he asked a question to everyone else. Chris Sabin learned about the size of his heart. Alex Shelley gets to run down some facts. I like them going for the titles but it seems a little forced for this PPV. TNA’s problem is the same as WWE’s. No tag team depth. Brutus comes out and challenges them. Joe gets to act tough. Joe can’t be watching WWE these days. Mexican America comes out. That isn’t depth. I’d take the Usos any day of the week. Each of the real tag teams gets to bitch an MA member.

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Filed under: Kevin's Blog, TNA News, TV Recaps | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

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