News We Missed: Chris Sabin, Animal Planet, Randy Orton & Kelly Kelly

Since we haven’t had a news round up in a while, let’s move on for some small ditties. According to, Chris Sabin has torn his other ACL and will be out of action again. You’ve got to feel bad for this guy after being back for no more than two months to have it happen again. Granted, he wasn’t going anywhere since his partner in crime Alex Shelley bolted for some pasture that isn’t even as green as TNA. Maybe Sabin can help design TNA’s video game. Oh that’s right, they’re only good enough to have a board game.

Staying in Impact Wrestling, Eric Young will be hosting a program on Animal Planet called “Off The Hook: Extremes Catches”. His first episode will feature how he keeps catching a contract from Dixie Carter. In the second episode, EY will be explaining how he caught ODB as his wife. In the third episode, we’ll find out what Young can catch in his beard. By the time the fourth episode is ready to air, Animal Planet will realize they’ve wasted more money on EY than TNA so they’ll mercifully cancel the show.

Last but not least, both Randy Orton & Kelly Kelly are set to make returns to the WWE. Orton will be ready to go when the WWE visits Cincinnati for Monday Night Raw. I can’t wait for HHH to come out and rip on him for how skinny Orton has become during his hiatus. Kelly Kelly will be sleeping with the guys in the back starting this coming Monday. She will stick around long enough for the WWE to mention Maxim’s Hot 100 enough to make guys feel like that outdated magazine means anything. If you do like that magazine, I feel sorry for your penis when you jerk off. -Kevin

3 Responses to “News We Missed: Chris Sabin, Animal Planet, Randy Orton & Kelly Kelly”

  1. stuntgranny
    stuntgranny 2012-06-19 at 6:45 pm #

    Ah, I got fooled here. Usually I can tell within a sentence or just by looking at the picture who made the post. Looking at this picture, I had this one pegged as a Jeremy post for sure.


    • stuntgranny
      stuntgranny 2012-06-21 at 9:25 am #

      I had to go with a Puppy Bowl picture. I was hoping for a Boxer but a good face humping will do the trick. -K


  1. Kevin’s Twitter Compilation of @ImpactWrestling « Stunt Granny – Pro wrestling opinion and analysis from a bunch of jerks - 2012-07-20

    […] of the program you’re hosting you dumb ass! After The Show: Come on, I even mentioned it in this dumb column. You need people to watch your show to get it renewed. Why mention a new program without a channel […]

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