Well she is.
And for those unfortunate enough not to understand the reference:
Happy Christmas. – Dusty
Filed under: Misc. News | Tagged: Alundra Blayze, Bill Cosby, Bull Nakano, burger, Cockroach, Cosby Show, Eric will get this immediately, Theo, WCW, women's champion, World Championship Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment, WWE | 2 Comments »
Dynamite drop in there, Monty.
Kevin and Dusty are back with an extensive look at bad announcing, including the Mount Rushmore of Horrible Announcing. Listen and learn who they think are the worst announcers of all time. What current day announcers are bad enough to earn a spot on the list? Hint: One guy who currently does every WWE show, some of which completely by himself, much to the petrification of Dusty. Find out which guy….. annoys Dusty…. because of the ridiculously long…. pauses…. he used to take between words. Find out which guy makes Kevin cherish his childhood memories of watching wrestling so much. Find out which guy wears Hawaiian flowery shirts and gets into internet pissing contests because he has a small penis and a need for attention. And so much more, and it’s only going to cost you about an hour of your time, so you need to listen or you’ll catch something incurable.
Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, Prime Wrestling, PWO News, ROH News, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: AWA, Bob Uecker, Booker T, Dan Lebatard, David Crockett, Dodgers, Harry Doyle, Hawaiian shirts, Impact Wrestling, incurable diseases, Jerry Lawler, Jim Cornette, Josh Mathews, Kevin Kelly, Kevin Smith, Lee Marshall, long pauses, Major League, Mark Madden, Mike Tenay, Mount Rushmore, NWA, petrified, Pirates, Scott Hudson, Sid Rosenburg, some of these tags are red herring, Stevie Ray, TNA, Tony Schiavone, Vin Scully, WCW, World Championship Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment, WWE, WWF | Leave a Comment »
Serious business goes on at Kevin’s workplace.
Kevin and Dusty didn’t start the fire! But they sure did talk about it on this audio! Join Kevin and Dusty on a fantastic voyage through the wacky world of professional wrestling, as they give you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They also talk about just how crazy Kharma is, how useless Velvet Sky is, how ridiculous TNA is, how big of a superstar Chavo Guerrero is, how cashing it in Jerry Lawler, and a veritable host of other things. Dusty makes gay jokes, Kevin regales us with tales of idiot co-workers, and a special surprise guest pops in to add to the festivities. All this and a whole lot more, and it’s only going to take you about an hour of your precious measley time, so get to it, losers.
Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: Aces & Eights, Big Boss Man, Bobby Roode, Chavo Guerrero, CM Punk, crazy, Eddie Guerrero, fire, Hulk Hogan, Impact Wrestling, James Storm, Jerry Lawler, Kevin Nash, Kharma, Madison Rayne, Mickie James, Miss Tessmacher, Monday Night Raw, Mount Rushmore, News You Can Use, pumping iron, Ric Flair, Rick Rude, Scott Hall, Sherlock Holmes, Tara, The Radicals, TNA, useless, Velvet Sky, WCW, women's wrestling sucks, World Wrestling Entertainment, WWE | 1 Comment »
This an excruciatingly special edition of Stunt Granny Audio because it features the reuniting of Jeremy, Eric and Dusty for the first time in a long, long time. And not only that, but it also features the debut of several different new features of Stunt Granny Audio, including the Top Five At Five, Match Game and the Mount Rushmore game. Can you barely contain your excitement!? They talk about the nine hour long AJ-Daniel Bryan-CM Punk segment that opened Raw, they talk about the heart warming ascent of Austin Aries, they talk about Iowa’s own Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame and who will all be there, and they talk about a whole lot more things that you can only know about if you listen to the audio. So why don’t you do that? NOW.
Filed under: WWE News, TNA News, ROH News, Audio Updates, Podcasts | Tagged: WWE, TNA, CM Punk, kurt angle, ROH, Kelly Kelly, honky tonk man, WCW, JBL, austin aries, gorilla monsoon, Santino Marella, Nick Bockwinkel, Jerry Lawler, Hornswoggle, Daniel Bryan, Michael Cole, pro wrestling hall of fame, Bill Watts, larry hennig, Vader, mad dog vachon, AJ, Dan Lebatard, Mr. Perfect, World Heavyweight Title, Bobby Roode, Rhett Titus, Kenny King, Jack Tunney, Gene Rayburn, Richard Dawson, Mount Rushmore, General Managers, Wally Karbo, Stanley Blackburn, stolen ideas, Match Game, Top Five At Five, anonymous GM | 1 Comment »
In honor of Rent-a-Center’s earth-shattering sweepstakes to meet Hulk Hogan and Troy Aikman, we thought we’d compile a list of the top 10 TV commercials starring professional wrestlers that weren’t for a professional wrestling product. These larger-than-life figures explode onto the TV screen with such abandon and fervor, such charisma and passion, that how could you *not* buy a pizza from them?
Let’s stick with the Hulkster, who hawked Right Guard in 1991 with the savoir faire of Robert Goulet and the acting chops of Mr. Belvedere. Starting this list off with anything less would be uncivilized!
Wrestlers seem to end up in commercials for food quite often. What was I saying about pizza and gargling copious amount of pills? Oh yeah, here’s Kurt Angle, following his 1996 Olympic gold medal win, ready to chow down on some Pizza Outlet:
Wow, wrestlers and pizza go together like, um, wrestling fans and bigger pizzas. Pizza Inn cashed in on the popularity of the Von Erichs in Texas in the early 1980s, but really, who in the hell is going to believe that 170-pound Mike Von Erich taught his brothers, ripped-ass Kevin and blown-up Kerry, anything about eating?
Keeping in the realm of food, I don’t have five minutes nor two scoops of Kellogg’s Eat Shit & Die for Mick Foley, but I do remember this Chef Boyardee commercial starring The Rock, pre-Hollywood but well into his puffy Nation of Domination days. Hell of a shirt, Rock; don’t date yourself too much or you might get chaffed:
Honorable mention: And because superstars’ shuckin’ and jivin’ doesn’t stop at the front door of Titan Tower, here’s Booker T and his big fat momma, eatin’ up all tha food:
I swear to sonny Jesus, this commercial with Andre the Giant made me want to try Honey Comb, and thus allowed me to become a fat shit for the first 28 years of my life:
John Cena, the face of WWE and hero to millions of children everywhere, can’t resist that double meat? Tell me he didn’t just say that!
And in the locally sold booze category: If I were you, Chicago Lake Liquors, I’d give Mad Dog Vachon a coffee break:
Of course, this wouldn’t be a discussion about great commercials with wrestlers if we didn’t include spots for Slim Jim! Here’s one with Macho Man Randy Savage and some teenagers, blowing things up Beavis and Butthead style:
And one with Ultimate Warrior and some more explosions (never let it be said that Slim Jim doesn’t understand its market; I still nice “Niiiice, antique!” every time I see a plastic chair):
More drinks: Man, the NWA/WCW got the short end of the advertising stick back in the day; while Hogan, Warrior and Savage were running wild, Rick Steiner was crawling around like a jackass with Roos on his hands:
And if you can’t land Mountain Dew like the WWF, get your first fattest babyface to drink the second-best thing!
Geez, I guess wrestlers and soda go together like wrestling fans and pizza and soda. Now here’s an idea I can get behind: Sting + population control, thanks to Sprite:
And now TNA is making deals with shitty auto insurance companies, because who better to hawk insurance you can finally pay for than wrestlers who only make $300 a week:
And finally, because we all go to our grandpa for weightlifting advice (“Back in my day, we punched a potato sack until our knuckles bled like stuck pigs! We put our polio-crippled brother on a rope and we dragged him 2 miles!”), here’s Ric Flair’s latest venture into advertising, for Fuel in a Bottle:
Oh, wait, we can’t talk about Ric Flair and TV commercials without posting Bruce Mitchell’s two favorite things in the whole world, wooin’ like Ric Flair and scratchin’ them lottery tickets:
Wow, 15 greats plus an honorable mention. Did we miss anything? Post them in a comment below!
Filed under: Misc. News, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: Andre The Giant, Booker T, Chef Boyardee, Chicago Lake Liquors, Direct Auto, Dusty Rhodes, Fuel in a Bottle, Hitachi, Honey Comb, Hulk Hogan, John Cena, Kerry Von Erich, kurt angle, lottery tickets, Macho Man Randy Savage, mad dog vachon, Matt Morgan, Mello Yello, NWA, pizza, pro wrestlers commercials, Ric Flair, Rick Steiner, Right Guard, Roos, Slim Jim, Sprite, Sting, Subway, The Rock, TNA, TV commercials, Ultimate Warrior, Von Erichs, WCW, wrestlers in commercials, WWE, WWF, YouTube | Leave a Comment »
With the one-night return of Vader to WWE on last night’s Monday Night Raw, I feel the need to dig up 10 of the biggest moments (for one reason or another) in the career of Big Van Vader, one of the best big men in the history of pro wrestling and a wrestler after whom many super-heavyweights should work to model themselves. Vader is at least 50 percent responsible for a number of my favorite matches in pro wrestling, two of which are listed below.
Vader’s eye pops out in a match with Stan Hansen, from All Japan:
Vader wins the WCW World Title from Sting, at the Great American Bash 1992:
More with Sting and Vader: Promos for the Superbrawl III White Castle of Fear match…
… and Part 1 of the good match that followed:
Vader powerbombs Cactus Jack on the cement, April 1993 WCW Saturday Night…
… and the grudge match, a Texas Death Match, from WCW Halloween Havoc 1993 (one of my all-time faves):
Vader vs. Ric Flair, WCW World Title vs. Flair’s career, WCW Starrcade 1993 (another all-time fave):
Vader makes, well, a splash in his WWF Monday Night Raw debut, January 1996:
Vader vs. Shawn Michaels, Summerslam 1996:
Vince Russo is a genius: Vader calls himself a “big piece of shit”:
We didn’t see a whole lot of Vader after that promo, until last night. In the 14 years since that moment, I’ve personally dreamed of pro wrestling seeing another super-heavyweight as monstrous, agile, evil and believable as Big Van Vader, but it’s highly unlikely we ever will. -Eric
Filed under: WWE News | Tagged: AJPW, Big Van Vader, Cactus Jack, gorilla monsoon, Great American Bash 1992, Heath Slater, NJPW, Ric Flair, roger we're clear, Shawn Michaels, Sting, Summerslam 1996, Superbrawl III, Vader, WCW, WWE | 1 Comment »
Twitter Champion
I know everyone is abuzz with the TNA Hall Of Fame story, which just may be the most significant story in the history of the planet, but you gotta check this out. Here is a compilation of Scott Steiner’s Tweets from today:
After brooke hogan tweeted that she could make more money on her back than i did in my wrestling career
Which i accepted and i will get into later,a high ranking official from TNA (who i respect)called me and
Without going into the whole conversation he ask me to stop tweeting and since im trying to
Save TNA from the same fate as WCW,and this official also has TNA’s best interest in mind i agreed
Until bitchoff opened his mouth spewing his bullshit as usual,but first since i missed brookes debut,I know
The camera adds 10 lbs but OMG how big is her head,did everybody notice when they were advertising her
For the show they had a picture of her that looked totally differerent of her when she walked out,how many
Gallons of paint did it take to airbrush that big head…and this is why i accepted her challenge that she
Could make more money on her back,even though guys have fetishes and sometime guys are just bored
But she has too many physical variables and abnormalities to be competitive or make money as a whore
Keep in mind she could have issued the challenge that she could make more money singing but she chose
Prostitution bcuz even she knows her singing sucks…her dad took her to a few music studios in nashville
in a last ditch effort and of course they got laughed out of the studio…same results cant sing cant dance and shes an amazon
Alot of responses to her debut was that she was a amazon..she has fat knees,cankles and did i mention she has a big head
Spinkled with a lil transvestite dust
So with the horrible ratings and reviews of his daughter what does hogan do;re-tweets a sexual tweet bcuz
The guy asks him too! LOL what a fucking idiot..need some ppl to tweet hogan the most vulgar sexual laced tweets and lets see if
The dumbass will re-tweet them
So refreshing to see someone so candid and so unafraid to tell the truth. If Scott Steiner isn’t in your wrestling Mount Rushmore, I don’t need to ever see or speak to you again. – Dusty
Filed under: Misc. News | Tagged: airbrush, amazon, Bitchoff, Brooke Hogan, cankles, dancing, Eric Bischoff, fat knees, huge head, Hulk Hogan, Impact Wrestling, Nashville, physical abnormalities, physical variables, prostitution, Scott Steiner, singing, TNA, TNA Hall of Fame, Total Nonstop Action, transvestite dust, Tweet, Twitter, WCW, whore, World Championship Wrestling | 1 Comment »
Once again, from the illustrious Jason Powell:
USA Network announced that WWE Raw is expanding to three hours beginning July 23.
The parallels to WCW are abundant here, of course. From Johnny Ace in a position of power, now all the way down to the oversaturation of WWE on television. I’m not saying WWE will be going out of business (like WCW did and TNA definitely will), but I do absolutely think this is a major roadblock for them that will cost them in the long run. I think if we examine this story again in two hours, it will be clear that it was a mistake, and they will either be deciding to go back to doing a two hour show, or have already made the move back. – Dusty
Filed under: WWE News | Tagged: big mistake, Johnny Ace, July 23, Monday Night Raw, three hours, time slot, TNA, two hours, USA Network, Vince McMahon, WCW, World Wrestling Entertainment, WWE | 1 Comment »
I got down to Woodlands Tavern around 7:15 PM for a 7:30 show. It was crowded especially the patio with the weather being a balmy eighty-eight. I had been to Woodlands before for a comedy show, Amy Schumer. For that show, I had to wait in a line to get into the bar, which operates while the comedy show is in a sectioned off with a full wall. It’s a good set up to have drinking business and a captive audience. I would say that the comedy room fits about a hundred and fifty people. I had enough time and room to grab a Great Lakes Rally Drum Red Ale before heading into the comedy room.
Blake something or other was the warm up for the show. He wasn’t very funny. He wanted us to follow him on Twitter but I’m not going to. I’m not terribly funny but I’d think that if I’d been working for about five years (like he said he was), I’d be better than this guy. Things were not off to a good start. Blake introduced Mick Foley, who it should be mentioned was on all of the posters for the event. I’m not going to blow up his act because that’d be uncool. I will describe the generality of his act though. The majority of his set was based around wrestling, so if you hadn’t seen him in the ring, your perception of the show had to have been crippled. Foley isn’t a rapid fire joke guy. He’s more of a story telling, fit in the jokes kind of a comedian. The bad thing about that is that earlier today on Opie & Anthony, Jim Breuer was on. Breuer is the king of this line of comedy. He can turn an ordinary story into something extraordinary. Foley turned some fun situations into something funny. He was very interactive with the audience too. That can be a problem sometimes and tonight was one of those nights. I’ve been to other comedy shows out at the Funny Bone in Easton. I think every other crowd I’ve been with has been more responsive to the comedians than tonight’s crowd. Foley got little help in that department. Mick ended his set by doing an impromptu segment, or so he said so I don’t mind describing it in more detail. A Metallica tribute band called One was playing after the second show which started at 10:15 PM. Foley recreated how Lynyrd Skynyrd came to have the hit Sweet Home Alabama. It was very funny but the guy in front of me was the perfect example of the crowd not participating. Foley wanted the crowd to lap along while he fumbled thru three wrong headed attempts at a verse. The dude in front of me clapped for the first try then moved to lightly slapping the table to then not participating by the third failed attempt. Was it one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard? No. Was it entertaining enough to clap along? Certainly.
Filed under: Kevin's Blog, Misc. News, WWE News | Tagged: Amy Schumer, Bob Levy, Dylan Shelton, Great Lakes, Greg Giraldo, Have A Nice Day, Jim Breuer, Mick Foley, New York Times Best Seller, Opie & Anthony, Rally Drum Red Ale, Vader, Vince McMahon, WCW, Woodlands Tavern, WWE | 1 Comment »
Pictured above: Kurt Angle
Dusty and Matt are back once again to discuss the February 23 edition of Impact Wrestling. Overall, they are very impressed with TNA’s long-term planning of storylines and matches, but are frustrated with the over-pushing of Hulk Hogan and the Bischoff Family. More importantly, though, they go off on several side tangents this week, including:
-Dusty debuting his new superhero alter-ego, Wrong Opinion Man
-Matt’s love for early ’90s WCW
-Just how exactly was the Shockmaster supposed to get over in the first place, even if he hadn’t tripped and fallen flat on his face during his big debut?
And a whole lot more nonsense, and it’s only worth about an hour of your time, so get in the festive holiday mood and give it a download why don’t you.
Stunt granny TNA Audio Show #7
Filed under: Audio Updates, TNA Audio Show | Tagged: WWE, TNA, Matt Morgan, Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, Gail Kim, Velvet Sky, Ric Flair, kurt angle, WCW, WWF, Sting, Taz, Samoa Joe, James Storm, AJ Styles, Mike Tenay, Sarita, christopher daniels, retirement, Kazarian, Madison Rayne, Brutus Magnus, Crimson, Impact Wrestling, Bully Ray, Gunner, Rosita, Bobby Roode, Joey Maggs, Garrett Bischoff, The Brown Blazer, Sam Winchester, Daria, Fashion Club, Brandon Jacobs, Wrong Opinion Man, terrible posture, look at these calves | Leave a Comment »
