Stunt Granny Big 11- Week Ending 1/29/11

1. Daniel Bryan & Gail Kim – Did the Bella’s storyline do anything for Daniel Bryan? Yes it did. It kept him on TV even with the dead weight that is the U.S. Championship. Gail Kim got to say everything everyone on the internet thinks about the Bella twins. They could make a fun wrestling tandem. Too bad their obvious opposition, Ted DiBiase & Maryse are less important than Darren Young. – Kevin

2. Jake Roberts –  “The Snake” slithered (eh? eh?) his way back into the news this week by promoting his “retirement match” against Sinn Bodhi at Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s Kurt Russellution as part of WrestleReunion 5 in Los Angeles this Saturday, as well as by telling In Your Head Radio that he had part of his foot removed. A) “Retirement match” my once-fat ass, this coke hound will come out of hiding with the first offer of a bump and a bundle of ones for the strip club. B) Him saying part of his foot was removed is as believable as any bum who claims “someone stole my kidney and left me in a tub of ice water, now let me borrow some change, man!” – Eric

3. Kurt Angle – His hot fiancee (I don’t think they’re married yet, sinners) had Angle’s baby one month premature, causing Angle to head home to make sure mommy and baby were OK. This is the first responsible thing Angle has done since helping a black woman across the street in 2004 and not asking her to have sex with him. – Eric

4. Ric Flair – Some will find this sad, as apparently dome TNA wrestlers do but others will and should find the news of him blowing through his money, awesome. Yep, Ric Flair, he of the now shuddered Ric Flair Finance, got in a tiff with TNA management on not getting a payout while in the middle of their European tour. Then TNA wrestlers have come out saying they find it sad when he can’t pay the bill due to his financial woes. There is nothing sad about it. Flair is drinking for free while those dummies foot the bill. Congrats enablers. -Jeremy

5. Royal Rumble – Can you remember a year where this has been so poorly hyped? There is no clear cut winner to build around and boy does the field of forty look a little thin. The title matches took a back seat to free television matches. The under card itself has three championship matches but one of them is a divas match and those don’t count. Regardless this is still getting ordered and enjoyed, hopefully. – Jeremy

6. Scott Hall – Because we can’t have enough drug addicts in our list. Hall told the Miami Herald this week that he plans to go back to rehab in Houston, Texas, his (I believe) ninth stint in a facility like this. Well, of course he’s going back, that’s how you meet people with all the good drugs! It’s like a bum who breaks a law just so he can spend the night in jail and get a warm bed and a decent meal. – Eric

7. Shane Helms – I think we can all breath a sigh of relief that this idiot is heading to Lucha Libre USA instead of TNA. It spares us from seeing 2 hicks with beer guts and 2 tattooed high spot monkeys trying to pass themselves off as the newest rip off of the 4 Horseman. – Kevin

8. Shawn Osborne & Stacy Carter – Osborne, who had been under WWE developmental contract in 2006 working in OVW, committed suicide recently. The kicker to this is that Stacy Carter, who is already on my bad side because I always want to type “Dixie Carter” when I’m referring to her and *nobody* wants to talk about Dixie Carter, went ahead and posted his suicide note on her Facebook page. Pretty sure if he had wanted it made public, he would have gone ahead and done that himself, but who I am to tell a negative IQ’d cumbasket what to do? – Dusty

9. Vince Russo – So it was Vince Russo’s 50th birthday this past week. We here at Stunt Granny hope for another 50 years of terrible booking, cheating on your wife, hiding behind your fake religion and general cowardly nonsense. Here’s to ya, Vinny Ru! – Dusty

10. New Best Match Ever – It’s this:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e6RY4U9rkc]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXLrI0EZihQ]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYRVj91CrBQ] – Dusty

11. Wrestling Roundtable – Just, here:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb4HuZ-4cXo]

If you want to listen to total nonsense, you should just listen to Stunt Granny audios. – Dusty

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