Stunt Granny Audio: Royal Rumble 2012 Review
What the hell is this? No your eyes and ears do not deceive you it is an actual pay-per-view review for the 2012 Royal Rumble. Eric and Dusty provide the entertainment with their strong opinions. Boy did they hate this show! But why? What do they feel was done poorly? What would they have done differently? Does one of them give up midway through the audio to go swinging in the barn? You’ll have to listen to find out.
Stunt Granny Show- WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Review
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Here is a list of available wrestlers who could have been used in the Rumble. None would have made a difference regardless of booking. Boy Batista Jr or The second coming of Ahmed Johnson could have tossed a lot of people out. Who cares. More on tonight’s Rumble Review from Kevin and I.
Curt Hawkins
Drew Mcintyre
Heath Slater
One of the Usos
Johnny Curtis
JTG
Kevin Nash
Mason Ryan
Michael McGillicutty
Trent Barreta
Tyler Reks
Tyson Kidd
William Regal
Yoshi Tatsu
-J
Let me break down this for you using numbers. Let’s judge the show on a scale of 1-10.
What could be done to get the show a 10? Nothing, given WWE’s current state. The closest Rumbles to 10 are prob 1990, 1992 and 1997. Create a new Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair or Stone Cold and get back to me.
Okay, how about a 7-9? Well, to get one of those numbers, you need a deep talent pool and good booking combined with it. Both of those options are unrealistic in the current state, so these numbers out.
So, 4-6 is the ceiling right now. You can get in this range by having a deep talent pool with mediocre booking (nope), or having a weak roster with good booking. Now we’re cooking. So what’s the best way to disguise a thin roster? Have a monster guy plow through a bunch of jobberbronies, a la Diesel in 1994. People won’t remember Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Trent Barretta, et al, were even in the Rumble at the end of the day. They’ll just remember that WWE created a new monster in the middle of the thing. Now, in a perfect world, that monster would have been Brodus Clay. But, they are determined not to make any money with him, so maybe Ezekiel or Mason Ryan or somebody. This is absolutely their ceiling with their current state of things, and is absoluely what they should have done.
1-3 is when nothing is clicking. Bad booking, bad roster, bad decisions, everything is bad. And that’s where this show was. I gave is a 1, meaning it was the worst of the worst. Exactly 1/3 of the Rumble match (Ricardo, Santino, Hacksaw, Road Dogg, Booker, Lawler, Cole, Foley, Khali, Kharma) had some degree of bad comedy in it. Thus negating the effectiveness of any of the comedy. And, at the end of the day, is that really better? None of those 10 people had a chance of winning either. How is that better than Hawkins, Reks, McGillicutty, Barretta, Yoshi, whoever? Because you laughed slightly when Hacksaw said HOOO? Give me a break.
What is the love affair with Mason Ryan, Eric is in the same boat. he has no charisma. he has an awkward body and no perception of himself in the ring. “Oh look, he went through a bunch of nobodies” Then the follow up is him laying a giant shit in the ring the next day. Whoopdedoo. You can fill the Rumble with moments or you can attempt to polish a turd they went with moments.
I sure wish Brodus was a monster like all of the guys that came before cause that would be so fresh. he is big and angry grrrrrrrr. -J
In my own defense, I wrote that blog about Mason Ryan months and months ago.
I think WWE did the best with what they had. 1) What they have is not good enough. 2) If that’s the best they can do, then ouch. -E
Yeah, I disagree with that even. They *didn’t* do the best with what they had. Granted, doing the best with what they had wouldn’t have been *that much* better, but I would argue it could have at least been better than this. This was no effort, brain dead, bad comedy riddled folly. They should be ashamed.
And no Jeremy, *I* am not advocating for Mason Ryan. When doing fantasy booking, you have to make it realistic. Aspie Meltzer reported that WWE likes Ryan and is looking to renew his push soon. Put that together with my argument for how to make the Rumble better, and he’s the best fit.
Again, I would have advocated for Brodus Clay in that spot, if they had kept him in his old ass kicking, Bam Bam Bigelow-esque gimmick. Seeing as though they wanted to give him a brain dead bad comedy gimmick that will draw zero dollars and zero cents and lower everyone’s IQ who watches it, that option is out and we had to move on to the next best choice.
And again, it doesn’t matter that he’s beating a bunch of nobodies. It’s *how* he beat a bunch of nobodies. I think you need to watch the 1994 Rumble again. Who did Diesel all eliminate? Pre-psycho Bob Backlund? One of the Gunns? Virgil? It wasn’t that impressive of a list. The talent roster was p much as barren as it is now. But listen to the crowd as he’s doing it. They don’t care *who* he is tossing. They care about the act of it all. They recognized what was happening, and reacted accordingly.
You’re getting caught up on the words “Mason Ryan.” It could be him. It could be someone else. The point is, the act of it would be the launching pad to creating a new star. It doesn’t matter that he isn’t very talented. Diesel was horrible. Point is, he got over to earn the chance, and the Rumble was one of the big reasons why. Doing something like that for WHO THE FUCK EVER would have brought the Rumble from terrible to mediocre (again, that was this Rumble’s ceiling, given the options), and would have been more memorable than the people involved.
To further sink Jeremy’s battleship here, you know who else could have been in the Rumble? John Cena and Kane. It would have been genuinely exciting to have Cena in there – if he wins, he has to choose Rock or title shot! And Kane – all time record holder for most eliminations, can he finally win the big one?
Again, it boils down to using the materials you have to build the best possible bridge.
Heath Slater is the only guy who deserved a shot. He has been a bump machine on SD and actually did some good mic work leading up the Rumble. AND he just broke his 22 match tv losing streak on Superstars last week!
You forgot Hornswoggle!
I thought one of the Usos was in it?
Well the other one wasn’t. -J
Haha.
I have never believed tag champs shoud be in a rumble. Especially ‘legit tag teams’ (not two top stars drawn out of a hat). 2 more wasted spots.
Especially Epico and Primo. At least throw people in it who can at least make use think ‘they might actually have a chance of winning’.
Me? No, No I haven’t
don’t have pc at home (laptop crashed) and at work, someone calls and interrupts every 4 minutes. Some of the calls are over an hour long. Once slow period hitd, I’ll get back on the horn. (Audio show horns).