Courtesy TNA and the threat, if he didn’t force a smile, of setting his hous… oops, never mind.

Wednesday nights being TNA Impact Wrestling on Spike, I thought I’d browse www.impactwrestling.com to see what’s been going on lately and to get lost in the sea of Guess Who squares they call a roster page when I ran across this poster ad (see, “poster” is marketing and sales jargon for “a 300-pixel by 250-pixel ad unit”…nerd rant: over) for TNA merchandise that features Jeff Hardy forcing the fakest smile ever across his face (while wearing the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’s shirt). The smile isn’t even a shit-eating grin or a hot-poker-up-the-ass nervous contortion. He kinda looks like he just won second place in a spelling bee. It looks like the satisfaction of taking a huge shit after popping four muscle relaxers. Oh well, it’s better than the Snidely Rapelash look Austin Aries has going on there. “Hey, Velvet, I’ll sell you a mustache ride for two tits…er, bits.” Give me the Flying Forearm shirt any day. -Eric