Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw 8 June 2015

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John Cena starts us off by talking about “The most anticipated re-match in WWE history” which immediately annoys me. I know you’re supposed to hype your match but everything these days “greatest ever” “most anticipated ever” “biggest win” etc. It either turns me off or tunes me out. Neither are good outcomes. Kevin Owens comes out and says that instead of the hack bit where Cena starts the show, someone new should. Owens doesn’t allow Cena to accept his offer. Neville ends up getting the first mic time of his Raw stint and accepts the challenge against Owens because Owens has been disrespecting the WWE fans.

So the WWE felt the need to shorten Neville’s name but then they introduce him as “The Man Gravity Forgot. The New Sensation. Neville.” Wouldn’t it be shortest to go Adrian “The New Sensation” Neville? Just throwing it out there. Oh goodness, it is making me worry that Cena is stressing the win loss record while he is on commentary. I feel like Owens is going to go on the typical post Cena losing streak. Meanwhile, there’s a very good match happening in the ring. Neville’s spill to the outside sounded rough. Neville DDTs Owens after he plays to Cena. Owens’s cradle brain buster is nasty looking. Neville uses Owens moment off the ropes to hit a German Suplex. He hits another one while showing his strength. Owens stops a Red Arrow. Neville knocks him back down. Owens knocks Neville off the top ropes. Pop Up Power Bomb for the win.

HHH, Stephanie & Seth Rollins complain about Dean Ambrose taking the WWE Title all around New Orleans. Steph & HHH tell Rollins he’s on his own. If this is another act, I’m going to be so annoyed. Rollins gets to pick his own opponent for Raw tonight to tune up for Ambrose. Rollins doesn’t seem to be confident about his situation. Renee Young gets to talk to Nikki Bella. She says that Paige isn’t good enough. Paige may own this house, but it’s a Bella World. Only good line of the promo.

I hope we don’t have to pretend that Nikki & Brie Bella still look alike. Nikki should really be beating Summer Rae on her own. The crowd is sitting on their hands because the last time Summer was around, she was a heel. As Michael Cole mentions Nikki’s 200 day reign, it makes me think they’re leaving the belt on her until she breaks AJ Lee’s streak. Yuck. Do it with Paige. Rack Attack for the win.

Roman Reigns gets to start the parade of promos for the Money in the Bank participants. Kane is the next one out. Dolph Ziggler is the next one out. Kane is none too happy about being called a tool. What is with R Truth and the shades? New Day comes out as a group. Kofi Kingston is another designated spot man. Sheamus is almost last. Randy Orton gets that designation.

Orton is taking on Sheamus after the break. The match doesn’t have much steam until Orton starts mounting a come back. They end up brawling on the outside. Orton gets the official DQ by tossing a chair into Sheamus’s stomach. Orton completely destroys him after including an RKO. (Next Day Note: I was quite surprised at the level of the ass kicking. If it means they’re in a feud after MITB, we will all be bored.) J&J Security try to make up with Seth Rollins but the proceedings go south. Rollins ends up giving himself a 2 on 1 match with them later tonight.

Dolph Ziggler is taking on Kane when we get back from commercial. Lana is awkwardly on the middle of the ramp. Ziggler hits a super kick to start the real point of the match. Rusev comes out to talk to Lana again. She falls off the ramp and hurts her ankle. Choke Slam on a distracted Ziggler. Lana is really milking the injury. Dolph checks on her. Why is Lana sitting on her ankle if it hurts?

Lana does look like she has a nasty bruise but that didn’t happen from that fall. The Miz invites Ryback back out to Miz TV even though he accused him of putting Big Show up to KOing him last week. Ryback would have taken years off the Miz’s career so he should be happy about last week. The Miz is still going with “The Moneymaker.” Big Show ends up coming out as the Miz tries to agitate Ryback. The Big Show comes down and swats away the Miz. Ryback tells Big Show that if he wants the US Title, he needs to come for it. The Miz ends up attacking Show from behind. Why did Big Show just get shell shocked? Pretty please, don’t tell me Big Show wins the US Title on Sunday. (Next Day Note: I’m less worried about this title change. Big Show has been a stepping stone for a while. I still think Ryback needed to not execute his finisher even if we’ve seen it before.)

Luke Harper & Erick Rowan are taking on Los Matadores. Now that the Chamber match is past us, Los Matadores get to be the jobbers of the division again. They use the 3D or as they are calling it “The Way” for the win. Kane wishes Seth Rollins luck then tells him that he’s going to win MITB then cash in on Rollins or Ambrose later that night. Boy would I be disappointed if that happened. (Next Day Note: As I put comments in from the end of the article to the beginning, I wonder if the WWE is setting up a Harper/Rowan show down with PTP. Maybe there are too many good tag teams at the moment. It’s still weird typing that.)

Big E is in a singles match. Titus O’Neil is his opponent. The crew of team mates are down for each side. Big E tries to impress Eric Nelson by clapping “New Day Rocks” during an abdominal stretch. O’Neil gets on a streak of offense but the additional person at ring side costs him the match. Big Ending after a distraction for the win. (Next Day Note: If I’m worried about Ambrose losing, I may need to worry about New Day losing. They need to be established as heels before the popular PTP get the win. I like both teams but PTP doesn’t need the strap to be popular.) Roman Reigns comes down because he is taking on Kofi, next.

This match really shouldn’t last longer than the last one. The apron drop kick is becoming a standing affair. New Day tries to save Kofi. Xavier Woods gets taken out but Kofi takes advantage. Kofi continues the advantage. I’m just waiting for the comeback. Kofi gets a distraction of his own but it doesn’t work. Kofi goes for a spring board move and gets hit with the Superman Punch. Victory for Roman Reigns.

Joey Mercury starts against Seth Rollins. Jamie Noble gets to take a crack after Rollins wins an early exchange. Kane helps J&J regroup. Dean Ambrose is enjoying the proceedings at ring side. It makes me thing ruse. Mercury dodges a charging Seth Rollins. Noble gets the proverbial hot tag. Noble ends up going to the top ropes. Rollins crotches him. Rollins brings Noble in the hard way but Mercury grabs his leg. Mercury gets buckle bombed into Jamie Noble. Ambrose jumps the barrier. He slides the belt into the ring. Rollins picks it up. Mercury rolls him up for the win. While Rollins holds up the title, Ambrose attacks and hits Dirty Deeds. Ambrose takes the belt back. I hope it’s a good match because the conclusion is fore gone unless the winner does cash in that night. Ie Roman Reigns. – Kevin

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