Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

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After the normal review, we get started with the handicapped match of Sheamus & Randy Orton against the Big Show. Sheamus should really be smart enough to tag out to Orton to beat the Big Show. I know he’s mad with him and all but that’s plain stupid. Randy gets to be the hot tag tonight. Sure, whatever. The crowd was back to normal on Smackdown. This Raw is no different. Brogue Kick + RKO = win. Snooze. 3MB get mic time because they were beat down by The Shield. They called the Shield out.

3MB gets more mic time, this time in the ring. I’m glad the Shield isn’t wasting their time. Brock Lesnar will though. People are loving Lesnar doing this. Not quite sure why he was ever positioned as a heel. Paul Heyman tells us he wants another match with HHH. This trilogy isn’t getting drug out like Rock vs Cena. Steel cage match is the offer. Disappointing. Expected HIAC.

Hot damn, I rewound for the yoodling. I should shot myself. Antonio Cesaro gets to beat Kofi Kingston. Nice of the WWE to try and make Kofi look like something other than a jobber. Holy shit, they gave them a commercial. I’m not sure I’ve seen Cesaro throw that running uppercut in the corner. That looked really good. Trouble in Paradise knocks Cesaro out of the ring. Trouble in Paradise again. Kofi is the new US Champion. This could be a good move for Cesaro. They did have me hooked by the end.

Buzzed right thru the Dolph Ziggler review for his interview. I still don’t get some of his outfit choices. The leather jacket is not your style. Alberto Del Rio gets to screw up a good promo. I love Ziggler turning him down because of an injury. Vickie Guerrero orders the match. Nice spite ruling. Zeb Colter & Jack Swagger join the party. Del Rio takes out Swagger. Jack gets the jump when Big E distracts Del Rio. Patriot lock does more damage.

The Prime Time Players have shirts now. Kind of simple, kind of slick and the back is a horror house of words. Wow, surprised that the Taker, Kane & Bryan vs. The Shield match will be next week. Not as surprised when they say it will be in London. They try to go a little extra big there. Daniel Bryan takes the beating early. Kane gets the luke warm tag. He destroys Darren Young anyway. Flying Headbutt win.

Ryback was in a dark room. I’m really digging the setting. He’s pissed at Cena because he didn’t help him out when he was being assaulted by the Shield. And Mark Henry. He’s going to step out of John Cena’s shadow. Good promo. All I could think though was, he needs to be able to do this in something other than a specific setting.

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Wrestlemania 29 (NY/NJ) Preview Part II

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Since Jeremy agreed that he wouldn’t be doing previews as I had predicted on Monday, I’m going written for the previews. I’m hoping to do two matches a day including on Sunday. We’ll see if it happens or if I end up stacking them up because I can’t get to them. I’ll be separating them into pairs with one good match and one bad match.

Bad Match

Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) & the Funkadactyls (Naomi & Cameron) vs Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow) & The Bella Twins (Nikki & Brie): I feel bad for just about everyone in this match except for the Bella Twins. They shouldn’t have a roster spot and aren’t hot enough to stick around. From what little I’ve seen in Naomi & Cameron in the ring, they seem better than everyone in the Diva’s division right now except Kaitlyn. I know that isn’t saying much since the division is about as low as it can get now. The fact that the WWE audience continues to cheer dancing big men is infuriating. Brodus Clay got off to a good start but getting more silly with another dancing big man is not the correct direction to head. Cody Rhodes is awesome on the stick but his size continues to hinder him. Damien Sandow has the size and stick skills but the WWE hasn’t given him much to sink his teeth into. The WWE will never be serious about their Tag or Divas divisions again except in small spurts. Predicition: Heels have to win some matches during Wrestlemania and this one has heel victory written all over it.

Good Match

Ryback vs Mark Henry: The build for this match has been almost perfect. If it weren’t for the fact that the WWE has rebuilt Henry more times than I can remember and Ryback has had the same gimmick for six months with a brief feud with CM Punk and the Shield, it would have been better. I’m bored by these guys beating up multiple opponents even if they’re showing off tremendous strength. Let’s get back to the build up though. From the moment they first locked eyes, I was excited for this match. Power on power matches are rarely gems in the ring but they create an atmosphere that all the flipping around can’t recreate. These power matches almost always find themselves in the “No touching before insert pay per view” stipulation which makes the writers a little more creative. The bench press contest was fun and so was using a wrestler, even if Zack Ryder deserves more, as a projectile. Prediction: Ryback wins then the WWE immediately gives him the losing streak gimmick to see what he’s made out of.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

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I’m getting to start early because my boxer decided to fall asleep much earlier than expected. It looks like today starts the final count down to Wrestlemania. I hope this song sticks in your brain during the whole show. Let’s roll.

CM Punk & Paul Heyman get to start the show. If the Rock isn’t the last segment, I’ll be shocked. Punk is not getting much of a reaction. The crowd does get behind the Undertaker attack. The promo didn’t do a whole lot for me. Taker looks like he is mobile. I wonder what length of match he has in him though. Thirty seconds isn’t a test.

Fandango is supposed to make his in ring debut again. They talk about Chris Jericho who never should have been surprised by Fandango showing up when they put his entire entrance up on Smackdown. Jericho goes right after Fandango. Why did Jericho agree to work this angle? I’m confused that this is his thing headed into Wrestlemania. Dolph Ziggler was conveniently ready to go when Fandango ran off. Before the break, I was busy checking the news on Dustin Kilgore, who wrestles for Kent State. He won the the 197 pound division last year and lost this year in the championship 8-6. Impressive career. I wonder if he’ll follow in Dolph’s foot steps. Big E Langston interferes of course. A second attempt works for the Walls. Dolph taps. Langston ambushes him. Someone for their team needs some heat. Fandango comes back down. After dancing in front of him, he assaults Jericho. Why should I believe Fandango can beat Jericho if he just got the guy who has the MITB briefcase to tap? None.

They recap Smackdown again. It really must be Wrestlemania season. Two weeks in a row on this stuff. Sheamus gets to talk until the Shield attacks. These dummies aren’t traveling together? Randy Orton then Big Show make the save. Stay together or within closer ass kicking distance.

Mark Henry gets to continue his show of strength by beating the Usos. They got a splash in which is surprising. World’s Strongest Slam. Impressive but getting repetitive at this point. He’s had this character for a while. This Philly crowd seems luke warm.

They put the 9 PM switch to Antonio Cesaro taking on Alberto Del Rio. Good for them. Mitchell Cool informs us of frequent belt changes at Wrestlemania. I’ll remember that for the John Cena vs the  Rock match. Jack Swagger attacks Ricardo Rodriguez again. Del Rio makes the save. Cesaro celebrates the count out win. Kind of funny. Del Rio attacks Cesaro. Why are you making a baby face look like a petty dick?

The Prime Time Players get to play fodder to Team Hell No. You could convince me the crowd was half of 18,000+ Mitchell Cool just said. I feel bad for Cool when Lawler no sells his “Don’t work six days of the work” line. Kane choke slammed Young for the win.

HHH gives me plenty of catch up time. He delivered a HHH promo and didn’t waste time. I could handle that. HHH kicks Wade Barrett in the nuts.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

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We have to cover wrestling some time. So here it is after a week off and more to come from our shenanigans in Nashville. Let’s roll.

The WWE does the right thing and pays tribute to Paul Bearer to start the show. The man that awkwardly ended that segment comes out next. Thanks for giving your catch phrase to a real dead man, Undertaker. CM Punk interrupts before Taker can get started. I love the promo again. What a dick move.

They are really pushing WWE Active. I’m still not biting. Kane goes on a rampage against Punk because Undertaker can’t wrestle. Alex Riley finally gets some air time. Big Show comes out next. They recap more story that didn’t happen on TV. Here’s an idea for the WWE. How about less replays and more actual content on the show? Seth Rollins is taking him on one on one. SOrt of, what’s to prevent them from attacking like normal? Shouldn’t they be banned from ringside just to start with. Big Show helps them out with the angle. Triple power bomb. I hope that after Wrestlemania, The Shield progresses and breaks into singles wrestling or a singles wrestler and a tag team. CM Punk cries to Vickie Guerrero about Kane. She puts him in a no DQ match with Kane. Holy shit, a Smackdown replay on Raw? What is coming of this world?

Daniel Bryan was out before the break. We can Tout about Paul Bearer because we haven’t had enough social media on the show yet. Dolph Ziggler is his opponent. I think my boy might win. Big E Langston needs to start doing something other than look menacing. Commercial time. I’d be pretty cool if they made Bryan a legitimate threat again. I get the feeling though he’s headed for Chris Jericho territory. Fun counter by Ziggler. Doesn’t seem very heelish. Rocker Dropper only gets two. Awesome finish with counters. Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag. Big E drops Daniel Bryan with his finisher.

Tensai the dancing monkey is supposed to take on another dancing monkey, Fandango. This gimmick may be growing on me. GI Joe: Retaliation preview looks pretty cool.

Team Rhodes Scholars does a good mock of the New Age Outlaws introduction. People still love the original and will continue to love shouting “Suck it!” Brock Lesnar comes out. Billy Gunn tries to take the fight to him but fails. Good way to get him some heat. Paul Heyman does a great sell job on the conditions.

Kofi Kingston is fodder for Mark Henry. They show the show downs with Ryback. World’s Strongest Slam. Cody Rhodes hits on Kaitlyn but Damien Sandow brings back the Bellas. Holy smokes. You ladies aren’t the answer to anything. Vickie puts them in a match with Sheamus & Randy Orton. Ryback is out next. The sacrificial lamb is introduced after the Psych preview. I hope it doesn’t suck as much as the show Cena was in.

Heath Slater gets the nod. Good choice in the selling department even if we’ve seen it before. Henry watches from the ramp. Shell Shock. Drew McIntyre gets the same treatment. Henry walks into the ring and slams McIntyre. Shell Shock. Slam.

Alberto Del Rio takes on Antonio Cesaro. Del Rio cuts a cheese-tastic inset promo. Cesaro is starting to seem like Dolph Ziggler part 2. They keep putting him into good matches but he keeps losing but they clearly like him. Cross Arm Breaker submission for Del Rio. Kane loves his father’s ashes.

I’m glad they could give us more recap on John Cena & the Rock. More replays, of Brock Lesnar now. Sheamus gets the big introduction. Randy Orton came in before the Lesnar replay. WWE App still has more real content than the TV product. Randy Orton gets the hot tag though. T-Bone suplex out of Orton. Good for him. Not really a hot tag. Time for him to sell for their team. We may get a commercial break. Nope, Sheamus got the hot tag for reals. Rhodes takes the RKO so that both the good guys can do their finishers. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Sandow for the win.

The WWE App has even more real content instead of the TV show. The Shield attacked Orton & Sheamus. Chris Jericho tells us more movie footage because it is more important than TV product too. Wade Barrett gives us more movie footage. The Miz gives his same schtick. Jericho shows him how to stay somewhat fresh. The Miz and Jericho are going to fight to get a crack at Barrett. Wade is on the headset when they return. The old toss your opponent into the guy on the head set trick rears it’s ugly head. Is this what Jericho gets for Wrestlemania?

I FF thru Zeb Colter’s promo because I’m tired of it already. Jack Swagger gets Sin Cara to tap out easily. Alberto Del Rio comes to his rescue. More movie stuff. This time with Halle Berry. David Otunga grew his goat back. He gave her phone number to Kane. He kills again. I’m not sure how they talked her into that one. Or the movie.

They are not leaving much time for CM Punk vs Kane. I got 10 minutes by my DVR. They take a commercial break at 11:05. What a bunch of douches. They come back with 2 minutes left on my DVR. Fuck these guys. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio Show #182

It took a day to recover but Jeremy and Kevin are back from UFC 145. What did they enjoy about the event? What can be done to make the live experience better?  Who has the better fans? The most important part though is what can WWE and UFC learn from one another? Thy also discuss some sports entertainment as they turn their attention to Monday Night Raw. What worked? What was the actual length of the Brock Lesnar contract signing? Did it clock in less than 45 minutes or was it actually that long? How much fun was the CM Punk boozehound angle? Who saw that coming huh? What does the future hold for Paul Bearer and is Beth Phoenix just that god of an actress? All this and more awaits and all you have to do is download it. Unless you have subscribed to us on iTunes you would have it already.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #182

Wait, is Beth Phoenix really hurt?

For anyone that missed Monday Night Raw last night Beth Phoenix lost the Divas Title to one of the Bellas. It doesn’t matter which one since they are gone at the end of the month anyway. What is important was the angle that took place during the match. Supposedly/Apparently Beth Phoenix rolled her ankle and thus lost the title.

At first this looked to be just an angle but now WWE.com has stated it is a legit sprained ankle. But then there is a report at the Wrestling Observer via Gerweck.net that the plan was for her to drop the title anyway so that Kharma could take the title without beating Beth.  Beth herself has posted on Twitter about people helping her through the airport this morning.

Thank you to everyone that helped me thru the airport this morning. Will keep every posted on MRI and xray results. Believe me…nothing …hurts worse than my heart right now after the loss and even worse thought of missing competition. But i have been bere before, and if…there is one thing Beth Phoenix knows how to do, it’s rise from the ashes. The title will be mine again. #unbreakable

So what is the truth? Did she happen to hurt her ankle in a stroke of good luck, if you can call it that? Was that incorporated in to the match or was it part of the plan? It sure looked harmless but then the dumbest injuries usually come from something silly. In this case that something silly is the task of jumping off the apron, three feet, to the padded floor.

So, here’s wishing Beth the best of luck in her injury or fake injury. On a selfish  note if you need any help with rehab hit me up. @grannymaes on Twitter. -Jeremy

Good God The Bellas are leaving?

This first broke on Diva-dirt.com and now has the principal players backing off but boy this sure seems like a done deal. The Bellas are leaving WWE, there it has been said and no further conjecture needed? Wait, well maybe not but then it is The Bellas. Can WWE afford to lose these 6’s?

So the story goes that they are letting their contracts run out at the end of April. WWE has made no effort to resign them nor should they. They are a dime a dozen as far as brunettes go. Also, with WWE’s no nudity policy in place why bother having the women on the roster to begin with? Outside of the incredible representation they were afforded at WrestleMania 28 name a significant WWE Diva moment and Khrama in The Royal Rumble doesn’t count.

The best part of this story is the back and forth on the accountability. They booked a manager for their upcoming appearances and he was doing his job by getting the word out. Then they don’t; like that and he offers a retraction of sorts citing he did not have “all the correct information.” This is clearly code for “you dumb mother fucker how dare you do your job and ruin the last month of our employment with WWE? Have you no sense of history? We are going to most likely get publicly embarrassed on national television for three weeks now. “  -Jeremy

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Surprisingly, the caption in the picture doesn’t refer to having to watch Raw again. Or even a warning to you the reader about the quality of content. I always bring the quality. No, I’m referring to my buddy Sean stopping over in thirty minutes. The one that in the below post all but raped me during New Year’s Eve. I was going to be content to sit here and watch Raw and get to bed somewhat early. Now he’s going to fuck that plan up because I’m taping Raw and Hawaii Five O as usual. That means we need to head out to watch football, which I do want to catch. Plus, I want to know what the surprise is. Sorry Twitter folks, I might no be around for that. Let’s roll.

We get a recap from Kane’s speech last week. Then John Cena hits the ring. He gives us some New Year’s Resolutions. He is going to remain true to himself. Cena shows off his awful shirt. Kane gives him some advice over the PA system. Embrace the hate. We can only hope. Even Shawn Michaels embraced it a little bit in his feud with the Undertaker. We get the video one last time. I can’t wait for it not to pay off.

Daniel Bryan starts off against Cody Rhodes. I’m ready for my first dirty finish of the year. My money is on a Booker distraction leading to a Bryan win. Mitchell Cool pointing out Bryan’s losing streak before his title win shows why he should win clean tonight. Get this guy a little more credibility. Wow, Bryan does win clean. He did a good job on Smackdown. He’s getting the promo part of the wrestling business now. They recap the Truth on Miz beat down. Johnny Wooden GM talks to him. He plays good GM by pointing out the Miz’s flaw. Miz fights Sheamus again but he is protected from Truth.

I took 2012-1988 and got 24. How is it the 25th anniversary? Cool predicts 2012 as the year of Wade Barrett. Randy Orton is getting time off to fake his injury. Good for him. Barrett continues with his barrage. Santino interferes. Oh, it just his match opponent. Santino brags he spent more time in the Rumble. He looks more like Jeremy Piven every week. No one is surprised it’s a squash match. The Bellas get screen time to give Miz a hard time. Truth is stalking him. He wants us to stay quiet.

I missed between here and the 10 PM hour. From that point forward, I watched at the bar I went to without sound so I’ll do more of an autopsy like Dusty did since I’ll have sound when I watch tonight. If you want to catch my in time reaction, along with those of Jeremy, Eric and a very special guest Dan Keuster, go follow @Stuntgranny, @GrannyMaes and @difrango11. I’ll avoid the results too so that I can do the first half of the show like I normally would. -Kevin

So I’m going to watch some of this during halftime of the Sugar Bowl. What a snoozefest between Michigan (sorry Jer) and Virginia Tech. Nice of the WWE to miss the Miz attacking Sheamus. Another repeat match from Smackdown since nobody watches it. Miz flees the match. The Lil’ Jimmy act is not as funny when he’s a babyface. Miz walks into a Brogue Kick. Even worse that Truth gets transfixed by water bottles now. How dumb. Somethings are funny once but not multiple times.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Except this time it was around Candlestick Park in San Francisco.

There was not a chance in hell this blog was going live, but I might be able to this quicker than I expected. A second power outage in San Fran during the Steelers at 49ers game. Big game. So, I’m starting this earlier than expected. Plus, I’ll be skipping out to watch again when they get power back. Glad @GrannyMaes warned me about Barrett looking like a drowned rat. CM Punk gets to announce the results of TLC with a drum roll. He starts with his match. Nice way to start the show. Can’t do it all of the time. It was an extremely good, dare I even say great match. Not an all timer or even the best of the year (I’d still reserve that for CM Punk against John Cena in Chicago.) He’s getting a great reaction. He is going to do the whole PPV. Zack Ryder gets introduced to another huge pop. Punk going right to Eric’s argument and mentioning the “heavyweights”. Punk saves Daniel Bryan for last. What a way to introduce this guy. Cole plays the irony card by bitching about Bryan. Lawler can only come up with “Let him enjoy his moment” defense. Pathetic. Lights are back on.

Back to Raw. Punk thought Philly would dig this moment more than other cities. ECW chant. He tells about him & Bryan wrestling in a tiny venue ten years ago. Zack gets the mic. Short bit. Bryan gets to yell at Cool. He’s showing good fire as he has recently. The Miz shows up. Then Ziggler. Then Alberto. We got our main event, huh? Johnny Wooden GM (not so interim) gives it to us. Del Rio sporting a new shirt. I kind of dig it. Looks like a peso.

Randy Orton in a rematch with Wade Barrett. Jer was wrong, I’m fine with Barrett’s hair because he just slicked it back. He let it be all wonky the time I made fun of him. Terrible idea for a rematch right after the pay per view. I don’t feel ripped off. Commercial break. Barrett in control after the break. Barrett is another victim of Smackdown needing a stepping stone before Orton level. Barrett is doing well for himself.

The game did not turn out to my liking. Whatever. Going to have to do it the hard route. Get the rest for the injured players. Back to the Orton versus Barrett match. Orton with the second rope DDT. Barrett going with the thumb to the eye. Glad someone could bring that back into style. Winds of Change. Did Barrett become Jeff Hardy? Wasteland thru the table. Good old fashioned heat. Kevin Nash is out for a minimum of six weeks, maybe career. He’s got a hell of a deal.

Alicia Fox takes on Beth Phoenix for the belt. Twitter mention. I’m drinking for sure. Holy crap. I typed that and didn’t see the win. The women’s division really sucks. She gets booed. Punk, the women’s division is not going to plan with your lady Beth on top. Or are they finally going to give Natty title time?

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

Becky Bayless posted this picture of herself and Serena Deeb on Twitter last night. I'm not going to pass up two hotties for my intro picture.

WWE leads us off with Piper’s Pit since he appeared on Funny or Die recently. They probably have more viewers than Raw right now. Cena is his guest. He re-explains himself. Roddy tells us he’s the face of the WWE. Man, is he actually going to make a good point on TV? I’d imagine Cena has heard this line of questioning back stage before. Roddy trying to get Cena to snap. I like Cena taking a stand. It’s not going to help his split response problems. I was hoping that was more of what Piper was getting at. Alex Riley is being told by John Morrison to look forward to taking his spot as a high ranking jobber.

The Miz attacks Morrison from behind. The joke of the Miz re-establishing anything in the WWE is hilarious. Morrison gets a courageous hero spot before he takes his supposed extended absence. I’m glad Dot Net was even further behind in reporting about Impact Wrestling and Smackdown. Head to Twitter (@Stuntgranny) to see my reviews. You might even be lucky enough to become our 100th follower! Morrison using the kendo stick to get in some offense. Morrison gets to do one last job. We get a replay of the beginning of the match. Our memories are really this short? Or the action was so impressive that it needed a replay? Just a buffer for the Miz to come out and talk. I’m supposed to take him more seriously, I suppose because he had a serious face. How about having him win an important match for more than one PPV at a time? Or without cheating? Just sayin.

The Divas are distracted by Beth & Natalya running around the ring. This division is not getting better. Alicia is the flavor of the month so she gets the pinfall victory. Cole can’t even get his dander up about how terrible they all are. WWE12 is pushed more than the Divas ever will be.

Johnny Wooden GM is doing Brodus Clay a favor. Thanks for the guest appearance David Otunga. Del Rio comes and the skit becomes a train wreck because no one can read all of the cue cards. Punk does fine because he doesn’t need cue cards.

Wade Barrett joins the announce crew. I’ll drink for WWE.com/Social because I want more of my beer. My home boy Dolph Ziggler takes on Randy Orton. Ziggler had a mid-main event match on Smackdown, now on Raw. Both of these guys throw picture perfect drop kicks. Dolph busts his out first. A superplex is our commercial break move. At least someone didn’t get thrown outside the ring. Wow, quick pin after the break. Ziggler gets the duke after a distraction from Barrett.

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