The @WWE Slammy Awards Are During #Raw Part III

I'm Tired of Writing Previews. Are you tired of reading them?

I’m Tired of Writing Previews. Are you tired of reading them?

Tag Team of the Year – Which Duo Did The Best? – The Shield (Rollins & Reigns), Prime Time Players, The Usos, Cody Rhodes & Goldust and The Real Americans – I’ve covered the Real Americans enough already. They’re not winning. The Prime Time Players may have a gay gentleman in Darren Young and a clear WWE favorite in Titus O’Neil but that has gotten them nowhere aside from having a good dance. The Usos are a notch above PTP but not by much. By hanging in the title picture, I give them a spot ahead but they’re not winning either. The Shield had the titles for longer this year but with the fans voting, I’ve got to go with Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Cody is finally saddled without a gimmick that limits him but unfortunately the tag straps limit your mic time. Goldust has been a fantastic comeback story so he might win two categories because of one reason.

“You Still Got It!” Best Superstar Return Award – Which Returning Competitor Made The Best Comeback in 2013? – Rob Van Dam, Goldust, The Bella Twins, Bruno Sammartino and Chris Jericho – Considering that the WWE doesn’t think we’ve got memories due to their story line plot holes that are larger than pot holes in Ohio this time of the year, we should probably count out Chris Jericho. He has been gone for several months and even though HHH mentioned him, he won’t win the vote. My woman will continue to have to dream about Jerry’s next appearance. Rob Van Dam falls under the same category. He would have been the vote hands down but staying off TV will not help fans thumbs to click RVD in the voting polls. Bruno Sammartino should win this one but he’s in a similar category to Jericho & RVD in that he hasn’t been on TV recently. His reasons for coming back may be wrong headed but he is one of the greatest ever. Giving him a worthless award is the least you could do for the man. The Bella Twins shouldn’t count. Ahh crap, they had been gone for a while, hadn’t they? Well, whatever. They might deserve it for making the women’s division somewhat relevant because of Total Divas but as the show points out, Nikki has been out the majority of the time since their return. Maybe if Brie Bella had been listed by herself, I’d be more interested in voting for them. Goldust is going to win because he’s got gold and a whole lot of momentum behind him.

Best Dance Moves – Who Boogied the Best in 2013? – Fandango, Summer Rae, R-Truth, The Funkadactyls, The Great Khali and the “Miz-co” Inferno – It’s probably not a good thing for the “Miz-co” Inferno that I don’t remember his dance moves because everyone else is less likely to remember. The Great Khali is a dance machine that we haven’t seen since Young Frankenstein. R Truth could win if his name was Xavier Woods and he’s in a storyline trying to steal the Funkadactyls. Why are they listed as a duo while Fandango & Summer Rae being split into separate choices? The dances that Fandango & Summer attempt on a weekly basis are partnered dances. I’d love to see Summer Rae dance her ways into my bedroom but that isn’t the vote. The Funkadactyls will win due to their exposure on Total Divas even though that’s meant less dancing for them since Brodus Clay & Tensai were excavated after several months of extinction for the Xavier Woods feud.

Catch Phrase of the Year – Who Was The Coolest Superstar Slogan? – “Yes, Yes Yes!” Daniel Bryan, “That’s What I Do!” Mark Henry, “Faaahhhnnn Daaahhhnnn Go” Fandango, “Follow The Buzzards” Bray Wyatt, “We The People” The Real Americans and “Believe In The Shield” The Shield – When was the last time Fandango had mic time? Around the time Clay & Tensai took their hibernation so he’s out. The Real Americans get a chant now but everyone tunes out the rest of their schtick. They are out of the running. Mark Henry could have won until he was hamstrung with an injury from getting mic time. Get it? Aren’t I clever? No? Okay, moving along. The Shield & The Wyatt Family are butting head in another category but neither of them will win this one. Daniel Bryan is the run away winner. As I stated in the last audio/podcast I did with Jeremy, Daniel Bryan finally got rid of the “What?!?” chant so he is more than deserving of this award.

Favorite Web Show – Which Original Web Series Made You Click? – WWE Inbox, 30 Second Fury, JBL & Cole Show and WWE Top 10 – I have heard of exactly one of these shows, the JBL & Cole Show. I have not watched a single second of it. It’s going to win precisely because the other shows haven’t been pushed on TV.

Just like other awards shows, this one is going to be entirely too long for one or two good moments. Aren’t I lucky for reviewing Raw on this special occasion? – Kevin

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