Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of @ImpactWrestling

Posted on December 7, 2012 by stuntgranny

Destination

I figured since Final Destination is on Sunday, I may as well do a de facto preview. I’ve got a couple of hours before I go out drinking with my buddy who is in town from Pittsburgh.

Kazarian starts off by call us choads. You deserve the shit you’re given. Bobby Roode cuts a fair enough program but I’m not sure why he’d put this double albatross around his neck. Christopher Daniels is OK at being insincere but I’m just so tired of this feud. AJ Styles is cutting an OK promo too. Still bored. Jeff Hardy & James Storm save Styles who picked a bad fight. They replay Austin Aries, Bully Ray & Hulk Hogan. Aries gets to cut the promo. He’s pushed buttons and wants to push more. I guess he likes video games.

I only looked at the headlines on Dot Net this morning so I know someone debuted or came back tonight. I also know that there’s a new TV Champion. Considering it’s a one on one match, the outcome between Samoa Joe and Devon is pretty easy. The match was cheap. Earl is distracted by a hot blonde. I guess that’s what happens since Madison Rayne left. DOC nails Samoa Joe with a hammer. Devon covers for the win. Brooke Hogan is happy about a contract delivery. Hmm, I’m guessing this is the mystery person.

I’m not shocked that they’re continuing this dumb angle with D’Lo Brown and Al Snow. They’re cool but a match is happening between them, right? Mickie James comes out in a dress. She made a pact to win the Knockouts Champion. Well, duh. Tara interrupts to brag about Jesse. Velvet Sky comes out. Three terrible promos in a row. Robbie E is freaking out about paying his insurance. Robbie T is a smart sophisticated European so he knows how to work an iPad. Why did I choose to review this show again?

That was their big promo before wrestling Chavo Guerrero & Hernandez. I don’t care about this match. Shocking, isn’t it? The Mexicans who were both born in the US take on Joey Ryan & Matt Morgan on Sunday. I’m sure Morgan is thinking it was a great idea to re-sign with TNA. Hernandez didn’t injure Robbie T. Chavo wins with the Frog Splash. Joey Ryan interrupts. Morgan attacks from behind. Big Morgan & Big Organ. I’m just angry now. Nothing gets better when Devon acts like he enjoys the strippers “going lesbian”.

Garrett Bischoff & Wes Brisco have Kurt Angle‘s back. I could like the group if Garrett & Brisco could act at all. Chavo barks all day little doggy while Hernandez tries to look tough. They cut the promo short. Jimminy Cricket.

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Stunt Granny Audio #195

Posted on July 31, 2012 by stuntgranny

Serious business goes on at Kevin’s workplace.

Kevin and Dusty didn’t start the fire! But they sure did talk about it on this audio! Join Kevin and Dusty on a fantastic voyage through the wacky world of professional wrestling, as they give you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They also talk about just how crazy Kharma is, how useless Velvet Sky is, how ridiculous TNA is, how big of a superstar Chavo Guerrero is, how cashing it in Jerry Lawler, and a veritable host of other things. Dusty makes gay jokes, Kevin regales us with tales of idiot co-workers, and a special surprise guest pops in to add to the festivities. All this and a whole lot more, and it’s only going to take you about an hour of your precious measley time, so get to it, losers.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #195

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Stunt Granny Audio #150 Part One

Posted on July 19, 2011 by stuntgranny

Wow, there have officially been a hundred and fifty of these things? What better way to celebrate then to talk to long so you split the show in two? Jeremy and Kevin come at ya this week and in part one they discuss the Money In The Bank PPV. What surprised them? Why didn’t Daniel Bryan cash in after Christian’s beatdown at the hands of Randy “The Animal” Orton? Who will be the first person to lose their MITB chance at the title? They also manage to talk about Chavo Guererro for some reason and it totally goes awry. Speaking of A-Ry, the guys skip over him and discuss the uselessness of Jack Swagger. They rip on Rey Mysterio’s fashion sense and praise the work of John Cena in the main event. It is a fun listen so download and enjoy. Then come back later for part two.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #150 part 1

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Stunt Granny Audio #148

Posted on June 29, 2011 by stuntgranny

Oh shit, we’re back one more time for you people with audio number 148. Dusty and Kevin are your early entry, high upside, long length hosts this time around. Herein we talk about CM Punk’s worked shoot and the ramifications thereof. The internet is aglow with buzz about this, but was it really 100 positive? The cru delves into the logistics behind it, and whether Vince McMahon was guffawing backstage while it was happening. Is Punk really done after the pay-per-view, or is he going to stick around? Can he actually extract a good match out of John Cena? Can Cena raise his game after working consecutive programs with the Rock and Punk? Also, the gang talks about Chavo Guerrero’s recent release from WWE. What dark secret did he hold over the McMahon family that he had to ask for his release in order to actually be released? Or did they simply forget he was still on the payroll? Also, who will win the College World Series, where will Jaromir Jagr finish his storied career, and a whole lot more, so just fucking listen, dammit.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #148

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WWE releases Chavo Guerrero, dead-uncle statute passed

Posted on June 25, 2011 by stuntgranny

Pucker up and kiss your contract goodbye, amigo!

See what you get for waking up early on a Saturday and browsing the Internet? I’ve accomplished more in 30 minutes — hung over, no less — than most people will all day! According to WWE.com, 10-year employee… excuse me, independent contractor (am I right, @The305MVP?) Chavo Guerrero has come to terms with WWE on Guerrero’s release. For those of you who follow Stunt Granny but haven’t really watched wrestling since the Monday Night Wars of the late 1990s, you may remember the last name “Guerrero” as that of phenomenal talent Eddie Guerrero, who sadly passed away in November 2005. However, you may barely remember his shifty nephew Chavo as a borderline obnoxious undercard wrestler who could kinda wrestle but mostly just pissed you off because you’d rather have been watching La Parka or the NWO.

Well, apparently WWE’s five-and-a-half-year statute on keeping a wrestler on the roster after his uncle died from pumping up the muscles on his small frame just to get ahead has expired, so Chavo is going to have to strap on a Speed Racer helmet and pretend to be excited about All Wheels Wrestling, or head back home with 24 of his best friends in one pickup truck. -Eric

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Posted on October 4, 2010 by stuntgranny

Even I have been bored by my site. We have been shit recently.

Let’s get this thing started. I’m starting to drink after a good work out. I was tired of not having something new on the site so even though I’m starting my viewing at 10:20 PM EST, I’m posting a running review. Hopefully this will be funny. And if you our great fans are lucky, I’ll even get to infect your ear waves too.

Jeremy and I were talking about this earlier today, Husky Harris would be an awesome addition to Nexus. He played a great dick. Barrett introduces John Cena. Jer and I also agree that it’d be great if Cena doesn’t pull the whole “Enemy Within” shenanigans. I want him beating people down. Tarver is awesome on the mic. Too bad his in ring skills are questionable. Another Jeremy & Kevin topic today. We gab like school girls sometimes. Maybe we should just post those. We tend to cover stuff we don’t get to in audio form. I like Barrett’s offer to Cena about tag partners. I guess we’ll get to see Tarver’s skills. Bourne could make him look silly. Henry will just squash him. Justin Gabriel’s hair dye looks bad but does get him around the boy band look. Why didn’t Bourne attack Taver while he yapped?

Henry doing what I expected after the commercial break. I guess Cena can’t turn right away. I’ll forgive the the short arm. Bourne’s standing moonsault is awesome. Still remember seeing that from the 3rd row or something in Detroit. Cole pulling for Cena is bizarre with his new character. Aww crap. Fucking assholes. That is lazier than our site. You get paid to write this stuff. Make it interesting.  Where is the rest of Nexus? Is Barrett letting Cena thin the herd? The crowd is going pretty solid. The GM saves the day for the first time ever. Wow, not only did the GM stop a boring beat down, he/she just made the angle interesting again. The GM must have something in for Tarver though. He got his ass beat before they intervened.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Posted on August 30, 2010 by stuntgranny

I could only find a picture with 1000 televisions.

As usual, I’m starting my viewing a little bit late. I had to go get beer and walk my dogs. The box of beer I got has a quote from Hunter S. Thompson on it – “Good people drink good beer.” Amen. I’m sucking down Flying Dog In Heat Wheat Hefeweizen. Check for my review later in our forum, which is free.

I must admit that I’m surprised that the 900th episode didn’t warrant three hours of television. It’d suck if it were that long. Just like three hours of TNA is too long on Thursday nights. Check our Audio from last week to hear more about that subject.

We start off with Bret Hart yapping. Now Kane is running down Undertaker and Hart. He’s been doing a solid job on the mic recently. Glad to know the Hart Dynasty is still alive.  Of course Kane is going to give us no satisfaction in the match department. Wait, Bret isn’t fit to wrestle Nexus but he can wrestle the Undertaker? Huh? What a shitty main event.

Highlights of Episode #1 which I in no way watched. Seeing Yokozuna made me remember that The Pensblog showed the Penguins old defenseman Peter Taglianetti tried to slam him before Lex Luger did.

Highlights of the immortal Steve Austin driving the Zamboni from episode #279. Wow, I’ve caught more of this 900 than I thought. Austin could have highlights all night long but I figure they’ll spread out the star power.

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WWE Supplemental Draft “Live” Coverage

Posted on April 27, 2010 by stuntgranny

Hot women will not be at your fantasy draft or online for the WWE Supplemental Draft.

Since this draft is more slow moving than the NFL draft, I’m going to be giving my thoughts for the Supplemental Draft. I’ll be updating as soon as the WWE posts something. I may even throw in some thoughts from last night’s show.

First Pick – To Raw: The Great Khali & Runjin Singh. Umm, if a bear shits in the in woods, does anyone care?

Second Pick – To Smackdown: Chavo Guerrero. Too bad I used up one analogy for not caring already. Poor Chavo is a trooper but no one cares about him. Maybe he’ll be reunited with Vickie to give him some cred but he’ll probably stay as a Superstars iron man.

If I actually read all of these comments from other people in the WWE Universe, I’d be frothing mad. Some people might be playing the jack ass role but I get the feeling that way too many people are really this dumb -

[Comment From Matt Matt: ]

Chavo is so under-used and underrated, good pick for SD!

Third Pick – To Smackdown: Cody Rhodes – Are they trying to make Smackdown as bush league as possible? Knobby knees is not going to replace Edge, John Morrision or R-Truth. It saves a Rhodes/DiBiase feud for a later time (I’m ignoring the possibility of DiBiase moving over later). Maybe they’re just punishing Matt Striker for making Michael Cole sound good twice within a month.

I’m going to continue this comedy festival that is a “draft”. Do a Teddy Long shuffle and click on the “Read More” button below.

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Chaos In Ireland

Posted on April 24, 2010 by stuntgranny

Peep this right naaaw, from Jason Powell:

WWE star Mark Henry was arrested and issued an “adult caution” following an incident that occurred at The Hilton in Belfast, Ireland last weekend. “I was trying to get as many signatures as possible on the card and my collectors book,” WWE fan James McClay  told the Derry Journal. “Mark Henry was abusive and ignorant but I got his signature and walked away. Suddenly he threw a drink around me from behind.

“I turned around to see him stand and square up to me, suddenly John Cena and Randy Orton grabbed his arms and held him back. I honestly thought I was in one of the plot lines back stage. I felt like I was watching this happen to someone else. Suddenly Chavo Guerrero piped up egging Mark Henry on, that really annoyed me as I am a fan of his. I thought this is going to get really bad as all these wrestlers were on their feet.” To read the full story, visit DerryJournal.com.

Powell’s POV: The story also notes that McClay attended WrestleMania 26 and intends to get married at WrestleMania 27 next year. He also claimed that the drink Henry threw soaked him, his fiancee, and the birthday card. It’s important to note that we’ve only heard the fan’s version of the story. Thanks to Dot Net reader Martin Caldwell for passing along the story.

I’m supposed to feel bad about some dude who is getting married at WrestleMania? Yeah sure, I’ll get right on that… – Dusty

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