Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

That's what I was doing last week.

I’d like to thank Dusty for filling in for me last week. I felt like a review was necessary of Raw. I know I only started this bull shit to build up to Wrestlemania but has become a nice consistent post of which we are not always the best at. So D-man filling in keeps the consistency and makes things different for the readers. I dig that in both ways.

I didn’t tape the end of Raw last week so I had no idea CM Punk came back until watching Smackdown. I hope his intro song didn’t change. It has. I like “Cult of Personality” but dug his previous music much better. Punks yaps about the little bit of change he has caused and that is why he came back. I like his speech about why he came back. HHH breaks up the party. Cole gets to roll his eyes at JR coming back. Now if only the WWE would give us what we’ve wand for years, no Michael Cole. Punk asks what HHH’s personal opinion of him was. Mick Foley is not main event level. HHH is trying to knock down Punk’s ego. Really is quite funny for him to be saying this stuff. OK, Punk gets to talk about the irony. HHH is got blown out of the water. Cool little segment with Morrison showing of the parkour.

The Divas are trotting out for a Battle Royal to take on Kelly Kelly at Summerslam. Cole has gone from good agitation to just bad heel. KK said that her eye is on Beth Phoenix. She’s doing OK against Cole. She needs to be on there more though. Commercial for a Diva’s match. What the hell?

Cole gets to stomp all over another Diva’s match. Beth Phoenix wins with a nice spot. They hug but Beth tosses KK outside. She then tosses her into the barricade. Phoenix pulls the bimbo card. They still can’t think that a woman wants to be the champion. The Miz is taping up when R Truth shows up. Truth making sense to Miz. Truth has been killing me since the turn.

Josh Matthews should not be rocking the glasses. They are terrible. I love how we’re supposed to guess what HHH’s decision on the WWE Title. I’m thinking something shocking like a match to unify the belts at Summerslam. I may be going out on a limb. (That’s sarcasm.) That’s a commercial break with almost nothing happening in the segment.

Morrison & Rey take their time getting to the ring. Morrison & Truth dress too much alike. Ugh. Cole says Miz’s pitch hurt the catcher’s hand. Please. Morrison gets to miss a cork screw dive to the outside. Just because you can physically do them, doesn’t mean you should.

Wow, can’t believe Truth hit a Lie Detector & Ross called it a cork screw elbow. Catch up. Somehow Cole didn’t call him out on it like he does to Booker. Morrison’s offense after the hot tag is much better. Poorly pulled off Pele Kick. Morrison loses as Cole gets to crow about Miz’s sacrifice. I hope this means another round of Miz vs Morrison after Truth and him finish up. Cole gets to be terrible. Christ, more HHH. He gets to run down Matthews for no reason. It’s fine for a heel to do that. Not the COO.

Wow, Lawler has to admit that Vickie is looking better. My boy Dolph gets the mic. Cole doesn’t jump on Ziggler for his lack of charisma. Riley interrupts him. Yuck. If Dolph loses the title, he better be moving up. Riley is worthy of the US Champ the way they treat it. Riley gives him the drop her line. Double yuck. He ducks the confrontation. I suppose that’s OK. Still a problem because of the WWE’s constant push waffling.

No Cole, I’m not voting on a dub poll on WWE.com. JR has been barely noticeable tonight. Santino taking the beating. Crowd getting behind Ryder. I love it. Cole gets to suck more. The old Demolition finisher. It looks really lame and even worse when executed by Otunga.

After a replay we get more CM Punk. I love him but seriously, again?  At least he kept it short, much like HHH. Del Rio gets an entrance before, great a commercial break. I’m caught up. Definitely Live now.

My luck live is for shit. Bourne gets to job again. Punk did say small changes right? We might get a Beth Phoenix push. Punk can only do so much at a time. Cole, I know what a Persian rug is. As predicted, Bourne jobs and Kofi makes the save. Another feud with these two for those of us that watch Smackdown. Welcome to the Wheel of Pushes!

More HHH, Punk and a surprisingly small amount of Cena. John Laurinitiis. I can’t wait. Wow, this blows. Strip the Title from Cena, WTF? How is this segment getting any hype? Have them fight for it. Why is this a “Big” decision? Cena sucks even mocking a very mockable Laurinitiis. No stripping. “Cult of Personality”. Please, pretty please with a cherry on top, go back to Killswitch Engage. Big shock, a match at Summerslam. I’m surprised. No one could predict that. A cheer of. Please attack Cena. Ugh. How girl fight slapping. –Kevin

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