Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Anze Kopitar

Taken by myself last season

I had questioned several months back why the WWE was going to be at Value City Arena instead of Nationwide Arena for Raw this Monday night. All I needed to do was look at my half season ticket plan to the Columbus Bluejackets to know it was because a game against the Los Angeles Kings. I didn’t buy tickets to Raw because I hadn’t been enjoying the product enough to make the purchase even with company money. I’m more than happy to go to the game though. My favorite person to watch play is Evgeni Malkin of the Pittsburgh Penguins. My second favorite player to watch is Anze Kopitar of the Kings. I’ll get to this post late, but I’ll be more than happy to do so after enjoying watching this gentleman play.

Roman Reigns comes out huffing and puffing. Daniel Bryan comes out to be a polite dick again. After Bryan calls himself the better wrestler, Stephanie & HHH come out. Oh no, did I miss a Sting appearance tonight? Bryan doing the Katie Vick throw back line is awesome. They get tossed into a match against Big Show & Kane.

Reigns is beating Kane when we come back. Big Show gets the upper hand though. Reigns turns it around with a DDT. I’m still surprised Reigns didn’t hurt his neck running straight into Show’s chest last week. Bryan gets the hot tag. Bryan hits the head kick for the first time in a while. Bryan is an idiot for jumping onto both opponents. Bryan is in a bear hug. Bryan tries to make it across the ring. Kane knocks Reigns off the apron. Bryan gets the Yes Lock connected. Show tosses Bryan over the barricade. Show takes out Reigns with a chair. Reigns hits the Superman Punch in the ring. He then whacks Show with the chair. Bryan tries to help but kicks Reigns right in the mush. They have to fight Big Show, Kane, J&J Security and Seth Rollins. I’m glad I didn’t have to watch the same match twice.

Ryback is taking on Seth Rollins. Why is the Authority wearing out their own guy? J& J provide a distraction so that  Rollins can get the jump on him. Rollins does a good job of working him over and trying to wear him down. When Ryback gets momentum, J&J attack for the DQ. Rollins ends up Curb Stomping Ryback. Still, why would you put your best man in a spot to get injured even with the back up plan? Have a goon do the dirty work.

I thought about updating my post but decided for the sake of time, I wouldn’t because it takes mere moments and I was having a hard time staying awake. I should have done that since from here forward will be a re-creation of my post.

My regular seats aren't nearly as nice as last year's free tickets.

My regular seats aren’t nearly as nice as last year’s free tickets.

Paige vs Brie Bella – It’s pretty  hilarious having Paige show Brie the ropes in a wrestling ring. Ram-Paige for the win. I would imagine the internet blew up because Paige got out of the ring instead of taking down Nikki too. That’s not what baby faces do!

I’ve figured out that it’s just Lana who bores me to death. If she came out in no clothes, I’d pay more attention. The video package grabbed my eye once it got to the scenes of Cena losing. Rusev is outstanding on the mic. Really does that foreign guy promo well. I don’t care if Rusev really is foreign. Cesaro can’t cut that promo because he’s too well spoken. John Cena gave the same speech he’s been giving for the past few years about being the man at the gate. Rusev & Cena ended up tussling. It ended with an eye poke and the refs saving Cena. The refs saving anyone is hilarious.

The WWE loves Dolph Ziggler in the ring so they had him lose to Bray Wyatt in another good match. The WWE just doesn’t like Ziggler’s look, size or mouth. It is what it is at this point. Wyatt continues his build up.

Paul Heyman came out with Brock Lesnar to inform us that neither Roman Reigns or Daniel Bryan can beat Lesnar at Wrestlemania. The highlight was Heyman making a pee reference but saying pineapple juice. No matter who the winner is, they’re going to get F5ed at Wrestlemania. Good promo.

Stardust & Goldust continued their break up which is going to last longer than their WWE Tag Title reign against the New Day. Kofi Kingston got the roll up pin when Stardust walked out on Goldust. Daniel Bryan & Roman Reigns got on the same page with Renee Young. I’m not a fan of her new hair cut.

Stardust and Goldust had a little tiff when the word “Cody” got uttered again. HHH stood in the ring so that Sting could do his gimmick that he made popular in the mid-nineties by stealing the Crow gimmick. At least he won’t be stealing material from anyone in the indys.

The Usos (with Naomi) vs Cesaro & Tyson Kidd (with Natalya) – The quality of this in ring match up is quite good. I’m glad that Kidd is finally getting a shot. Even with the passable nature of their tag team division these days, being in the WWE means you should be a singles wrestler so sucks for the four of them. Cesaro distracted Jey so that Kidd could get the pin. No time to work Cesaro & Kidd up the ladder. We need to have them beat the champs. Rikishi is going into the WWE Hall of Fame.

The Miz & Damien Mizdow continue their break up which is somehow taking longer than the Dust Brothers. Sin Cara won the match against Mizdow but it’d be generous to say he was window dressing.

Dean Ambrose beat Curtis Axel who continues to be good in the Heath Slater spot. Poor Heath and his false allegations. Ambrose and Bad News Barrett exchanged promos after the match. Neither of them mentioned that the IC Title is for those who get injured too often.

Daniel Bryan & Roman Reigns had their match against the Authority. I’ll admit I was pretty much asleep when I watched this one last night. Reigns stealing the pin from Bryan was the high light. It led to them bickering and Reigns spearing Bryan to end the show. It wasn’t a terrible show but I’m glad I kept my tickets to watch the LA Kings. – Kevin




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