Headlines: Kurt Angle tears groin, Evolve/DGUSA make huge (read: small) announcement

Posted on December 10, 2012 by stuntgranny

According to Prowrestling.net, Kurt Angle tore his groin during his match at TNA Final Resolution this past Sunday. Important things to note here:

  • Angle turned 44 on Saturday. That doesn’t make him old, but that doesn’t make him young.
  • Angle continues to bang himself up – knees, hamstrings, groins – to the tune of a lot of money and to the delight of, what, 1,400 fans worldwide?
  • When we make fun of wrestlers being fragile, we compare them to Kevin Nash, because his injuries all seemed to happen in WWE. We ignore Kurt Angle, because he’s basically wrestling in Dixie Carter’s back yard, so it doesn’t count.

Angle tweeted that he’d wrestle through the injury because he is a “cyborg.” According to Wikipedia, one characteristic of a cyborg is that “Cyborgs in fiction often play up a human contempt for over-dependence on technology.” We all know Angle very much entrenched in his own fictional world (or, as I like to call it, full of shit), so this is in direct conflict with his over-dependence on the technology of Twitter. Time to close the account!

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Evolve announced Saturday at its iPPV, “18″ ( :-S ) that it had a huge announcement: John Morrison and the Young Bucks are headed back to Evolve/DGUSA in 2013! Holy cotton balls! The money I didn’t spend on Evolve 18 almost cowered in my wallet out of fear that I might yank it out and plop it down on a PPV featuring three guys at a total combined weight of 412 pounds and a total combined skill level of Paul Roma.

No one outside Twitter or “Z True Long Island Story“ has seen hide nor hair of John Morrison in six months (CWF SuperClash does not count), and the last notable thing the Young Bucks did was piss off Booker T, the nicest guy in wrestling. Here’s hoping the Internet doesn’t erupt when all 1,399 people order that show! -Eric

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Stunt Granny Audio #197

Posted on August 14, 2012 by stuntgranny

Sweet Jesus this has to be a special occasion as Stunt Granny presents Stunt Granny Audio Show #197: The Asshole Edition. Yes, that’s right it is Eric and Jeremy bringing all sorts of opinions that you won’t agree with at all. Well too bad, the boys discuss Eric’s plan to sell his Masters of the Universe figures. Is now a good time or should he wait for the movie? They also discuss WWE firing Abraham, Washington and why it was totally justified. They then take great joy in the comic stylings of Brian Jossie. Wait, did Stunt Granny join Tout? What the hell did Kevin Nash do this week to be discussed and how does he tie in to CM Punk and Kurt Angle. Not to be left out Ring of honor takes a beating as does their champion Kevin Steen. Why? Why would we do this? Well, all you have to do is listen.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #197

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Stunt Granny Audio #195

Posted on July 31, 2012 by stuntgranny

Serious business goes on at Kevin’s workplace.

Kevin and Dusty didn’t start the fire! But they sure did talk about it on this audio! Join Kevin and Dusty on a fantastic voyage through the wacky world of professional wrestling, as they give you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They also talk about just how crazy Kharma is, how useless Velvet Sky is, how ridiculous TNA is, how big of a superstar Chavo Guerrero is, how cashing it in Jerry Lawler, and a veritable host of other things. Dusty makes gay jokes, Kevin regales us with tales of idiot co-workers, and a special surprise guest pops in to add to the festivities. All this and a whole lot more, and it’s only going to take you about an hour of your precious measley time, so get to it, losers.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #195

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@PRIMEWrestling – Season 5 – Episode 19

Posted on July 16, 2012 by stuntgranny

Joe Dombrowski & Aaron Maguire introduce the show. Jimmy Jacobs will be defending the PRIME Wrestling Title against Louis Lynden. Mr. RBI is taking on Jason Bane. Sex Appeal, Bobby Beverly & Bobby Shields, are taking on Corey Winters & Ben Fruith to kick off the show. Corey Winters starts out against Bobby Shields. Sex Appeal took control early. Beverly was acting weird because he kept getting orders from Shields. Winters backed Beverly into his corner and tagged in Fruith. They double team Beverly with a flying knee. Sex Appeal took back over with Shields shouting more orders to Beverly. Fruith flipped out of a back suplex and tagged in Winters. Beverly was on the receiving end of a Cutter. Shields blind tagged in. Shields gave Fruith a Body Bomb for the victory. Shields ordered Beverly out of the ring to grab scissors. They cut off the bangs for Fruith. Winters chased them out of the ring with a chair.

Analysis: They told a solid story with Sex Appeal. Fruith looks like he’s put on a few pounds which isn’t a bad thing. The wrestling was fine but I always find it odd when tags are made as frequently as they were in this match. It doesn’t give anyone much rest time on the apron which is the purpose of tagging out. Score: +1.

They showed a replay of Michael “The Bomber” Facade winning the TV Title last week. He then gets a crack at the mic. Facade talks about taking a long time to accomplish his goals in PRIME Wrestling. He said he’ll be a people’s champion. Facade wants to stand up for everyone being bullied on the roster. Louis Lynden said that he’ll be entering his prime when he takes on Jimmy Jacobs. Analysis: Facade’s promo was average. Lynden was the main talker when Flip Kendrick was around. He seemed a little lost. Score: 0.

Bryan Castle introduces Dan Arkham, who is wearing a Batman shirt. Castle calls him “BatDan” and gives Arkham his lucky head band to make him more brave. Castle wants a ride in the Batmobile. Then asks to wear the utility belt. Brian Bender comes in and tells Castle to listen and Arkham to hold the mic between them. Bender is offended that Castle chose Arkham as a hero. Arkham looks sort of offended. Bender tells Castle he’s wasted his time because Castle sucks as a student. Bender ends by saying he may have to beat the lessons into him one day. Analysis: Castle was pretty funny. Arkham played his part well especially when acting offended. It was more of a look of “How could he say this to my face” than actual offense. Bender was awesome since his instructions have been ignored. Score: +1.

(more…)

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Kevin Nash shoot interview features stories from the WWF in (hold your nose) 1995

Posted on July 12, 2012 by stuntgranny

We at Stunt Granny don’t like to promote things we aren’t going to make money on (which is why we don’t promote anything, including Hold For Swank, whose albums are available on iTunes). What we like to do is be entertained by pro wrestlers and then share that entertainment with you. I ran across a trailer, posted on July 9, for the Kayfabe Commentaries “Timeline: The History of WWE: 1995: Kevin Nash” DVD (not sure how many colons really belong there) and laughed out loud enough that I thought I’d better post it. Nash is a Stunt Granny favorite (Kevin and Dan met him at PWO’s Wrestlelution last year, plus he’s just a funny guy), so if you’re as into inside wrestling stories, quick humor and the word “fuck” as we are, check out the trailer and consider buying the DVD.

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More PRIME Wrestling Defections To The WWE?

Posted on July 9, 2012 by stuntgranny

There are a number of noticeable indy wrestlers that have signed with the WWE, but I will leave those posts to someone else. According to Gerweck.net (we do source our info from other sites, sometimes) Johnny Gargano from Pro Wrestling Ohio/PRIME Wrestling  along with Dragon Gate USA & Evolve has signed with the WWE and will be heading to FCW in the near future. Good for him. Gargano was one of the better wrestlers when the promotion started about five years ago. He has worked hard on his promo to make them go from childish to a man cutting a promo which has been his biggest development.

If you read the link, there’s some other news that pertains just to PRIME Wrestling, while I knew some of the information because of my sources inside of the organization, some of the information was never passed along. It is a bit shocking to find out the owner of the company, Walt Klasinski, got convicted of sexual assault related charges. The legal trouble led to Joe Dombrowski purchasing the company and re-branding it. Klasinski’s actions don’t change my thoughts on the promotion because he was never booking for it to my knowledge and none of the wrestlers were convicted either. I think it’s a fine, paint by the numbers booking style that helps get the wrestlers over.

To get back to Gargano, one of the better parts of the transition from Pro Wrestling Ohio to PRIME Wrestling was the carry over of the story lines. Gargano came back on an episode I haven’t watched yet but he is set to take on Jimmy Jacobs for the PRIME Wrestling Title at Wrestlelution 5. His possible move to the WWE would put a giant crimp in their big event.

Like any good indy promotion, PWO/PRIME talent has been ransacked just as they start to move to the next level. Zema Ion (Shiima Xion) is now the X Division Champion in TNA. He was recently joined by Flip Cassanova (aka Flip Kendrick) in the X Division Title hunt taking each other on at Destination X this past Sunday. The WWE signed “Big Rig” Brodie Lee in March not long after he worked with Kevin Nash at Wrestlelution 4. The WWE also signed Derek Bateman in PWO’s infancy when he went by the name Michael Hutter. Gargano will have some familar faces around him, but only time will tell if he can become the Whole She Bang and the Cat’s Meow in the WWE. -Kevin

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The Big Rig Brodie Lee Comes to the #WWE

Posted on March 12, 2012 by stuntgranny

According to Prowrestling.net, “Big Rig” Brodie Lee has signed a developmental deal with WWE. Though he worked some dates for Ring Of Honor and for Dragon Gate USA, I know him from Pro Wrestling Ohio. He is 6′-7″ and has got to weigh around three hundred pounds. He’s not in WWE shape but he’s still been hitting the gym. His size appeals to the WWE and they should be able to get him into better shape. I can only hope he retains his mobility in such a move. Brodie was quite agile for a big man. He had a haggard look that I dug but the WWE won’t allow that so his looks will be cleaned up too. Brodie didn’t get much mic time since Marion Fontaine did most of the talking. Lee carried himself well when he did get a chance. I’m surprised he didn’t get a contract earlier. He worked with Kevin Nash at Wrestlelution 4 so the WWE was well aware of him. From what I saw of him on TV, the WWE signed a good one. -Kevin

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Hulk Hogan runs his mouth about Ultimate Warrior, finds a metal tack in there

Posted on January 11, 2012 by stuntgranny

According to Prowrestling.net, Hulk Hogan is having serious dental issues after a dentist left a metal tack in his mouth. Hogan recently underwent surgery to implant a donor bone into his jaw to hold a dental implant in place (did Hogan learn nothing from Superstar Billy Graham’s hip replacement videos about steroids making you as brittle as a sucked-on candy cane?), and later CAT scans revealed a metal tack left behind by a dentist. We know this happens a lot, but it’s still gross. Hogan went to the doctor and loaded up on antibiotics to “clean up the mess,” according to TMZ.com.

Perhaps this is what happens when you talk shit on the Ultimate Warrior! You get infections…! Eh, horrible transition. Anyway, the Hulkster took to Twitter for a mini-rant on the Kevin Nash-Ultimate Warrior feud:

Kevin would destroy him ,the wattiors already got a million excuses,if youtouch me or I need to train for a year now u can see tight through the ass clown and most people now get way he was a pain in the ass,couldn’t do business, and he sucked in The ring that about says it all,he irrelevant and totally out of gas except for the few remaining warrior twitter marks,good luck with ur Great life Jim,I have said my last comment about this looser and his great life he’s living.gag me with a spoon. HH

My favorite parts of this: Hogan claims we can see “tight through the ass” and he still uses phrases from the 1980s. “A match with Kevin and Jim? Where’s the beef? Kev will beat on Jim until he screams ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!’ Come on, Jim, just say no.” -Eric

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Kevin Nash challenges Ultimate Warrior to shoot fight for WrestleMania 28 weekend

Posted on January 5, 2012 by stuntgranny

 

Wow. According to Prowrestling.net, former undeserving WWF Champion Kevin Nash has challenged former undeserving WWF Champion Ultimate Warrior to a shoot fight the weekend of WrestleMania 28. Nash had a great turnout for his strip-club outing in Atlanta during last year’s WrestleMania weekend, so hey, leave it to his entrepreneurial nature to dream up this one. Jason Powell writes:

Warrior took a shot at Nash while responding to a fan question. He was asked why not dye his hair and “pull a Kevin Nash return.” Warrior responded, “I’m not a d—head who thriveson stealing the limelight from young guys.”

So Nash broke the rules of Twitter by posting this 10 million-character Tweet, directed at Warrior:

“Never realized I had a problem with Jim (Warrior). Seemed to get along fine in Scottsdale.

“Come on my clown, turn that frown upside down. A true warrior never turns down a challenge. Put up 100k. I’ll do the same. Three rounds. MMA rules. Winner take all. I’m talking shoot, not sports entertainment. Jim Hellwig needs to put up or shut the f— up. Day before Mania in Miami Arena.

“Warrior will have to pass HIV and a hep (hepatitis) a, b, and c tests. I’ll do the same. I’m tired of this guy talking shit about the boys and me. When they stop it or you tap, I’ll quit or you can apologize like the c— you are.

“You should watch your mouth. You know you’re a bitch. You want nothing to do with me. You ran out of your gym to avoid me. You want to go, pussy, name the place and time. If not shut your d— sucker and forget my name. Bitch, make me 100k richer.”

Hahahaha, that’s good stuff, right there. While Warrior has an affinity for the word “fuck,” Nash has basically perfected the art of the filthy insult. Round 1 goes to Nash. Warrior has also spent tons of misdirected energy at one Hulk Hogan, claiming Hulk’s bandana includes fake blond hair in the back (oh no!), while Nash spreads the love in much more focused ways, like calling mullet-headed, Trans Am-driving known crackhead Ricky Morton a “crackhead” and, of course, this latest missive fired at Warrior. Round 2: Nash. And if we really need a Round 3, Nash is the reason I grew a goatee in high school, while Warrior is the reason I wore my mom’s make-up in third grade. That round is a tie, but Nash wins the war. -Eric

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Posted on December 19, 2011 by stuntgranny

Except this time it was around Candlestick Park in San Francisco.

There was not a chance in hell this blog was going live, but I might be able to this quicker than I expected. A second power outage in San Fran during the Steelers at 49ers game. Big game. So, I’m starting this earlier than expected. Plus, I’ll be skipping out to watch again when they get power back. Glad @GrannyMaes warned me about Barrett looking like a drowned rat. CM Punk gets to announce the results of TLC with a drum roll. He starts with his match. Nice way to start the show. Can’t do it all of the time. It was an extremely good, dare I even say great match. Not an all timer or even the best of the year (I’d still reserve that for CM Punk against John Cena in Chicago.) He’s getting a great reaction. He is going to do the whole PPV. Zack Ryder gets introduced to another huge pop. Punk going right to Eric’s argument and mentioning the “heavyweights”. Punk saves Daniel Bryan for last. What a way to introduce this guy. Cole plays the irony card by bitching about Bryan. Lawler can only come up with “Let him enjoy his moment” defense. Pathetic. Lights are back on.

Back to Raw. Punk thought Philly would dig this moment more than other cities. ECW chant. He tells about him & Bryan wrestling in a tiny venue ten years ago. Zack gets the mic. Short bit. Bryan gets to yell at Cool. He’s showing good fire as he has recently. The Miz shows up. Then Ziggler. Then Alberto. We got our main event, huh? Johnny Wooden GM (not so interim) gives it to us. Del Rio sporting a new shirt. I kind of dig it. Looks like a peso.

Randy Orton in a rematch with Wade Barrett. Jer was wrong, I’m fine with Barrett’s hair because he just slicked it back. He let it be all wonky the time I made fun of him. Terrible idea for a rematch right after the pay per view. I don’t feel ripped off. Commercial break. Barrett in control after the break. Barrett is another victim of Smackdown needing a stepping stone before Orton level. Barrett is doing well for himself.

The game did not turn out to my liking. Whatever. Going to have to do it the hard route. Get the rest for the injured players. Back to the Orton versus Barrett match. Orton with the second rope DDT. Barrett going with the thumb to the eye. Glad someone could bring that back into style. Winds of Change. Did Barrett become Jeff Hardy? Wasteland thru the table. Good old fashioned heat. Kevin Nash is out for a minimum of six weeks, maybe career. He’s got a hell of a deal.

Alicia Fox takes on Beth Phoenix for the belt. Twitter mention. I’m drinking for sure. Holy crap. I typed that and didn’t see the win. The women’s division really sucks. She gets booed. Punk, the women’s division is not going to plan with your lady Beth on top. Or are they finally going to give Natty title time?

(more…)

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