OK, I admit, Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow wasn’t all that bad, but leave it to the Clique (Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid on the outside) to have the best matches of the night at WrestleMania. That still doesn’t excuse WMXI from being the huge stinker that it was; broken microphones, shitty celebrities, grandeur abound!
According to Gerweck.net, Luke Gallows posted on his Facebook page that he has signed with TNA, after a stint in sister company Ring Ka King. I don’t know if this is Luke Gallows’ official Facebook page, but the URL says “OfficialLukeGallows,” which means next to nothing in this day and age of handle squatting. And the last post on the page is from June. So unless my browser is out of whack and not displaying recent stories, he either posted the news and took it down, or this is some weirdo’s page who has a Fetish For Festus.
Jeremy thinks there’s a chance that the masked man at the end of last night’s Impact may have been Gallows (see the last photo here). If so, that would mean the rumor mill has churned out such Aces & Eights possibilities as Gallows, Mike Knox, and Chris Masters, three dudes who seem to be good guys but couldn’t cut a money promo if they sang the Million Dollar Man’s theme song a cappella. My only bigger fear is that the faction is being led by Jeff Jarrett, back to “save” “his” company. (“When you’re at the table and you split your Aces or Eights, you pray to God you get a pair of Jacks,” and then two Js appear on the screen, and Jarrett runs down to crickets and fart noises. Ka-ching!) -Eric
Jeff Jarrett, Karen Jarrett take to Twitter for half-assed TNA Hall of Fame campaign, probably an angle
Woke up early this morning (around 10 a.m.) and checked Twitter, and what did I see? Karen Jarrett, tweeting and retweeting up a storm about how her husband and esteemed TNA founder Jeff Jarrett should be the first inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame. Here are some literate retweet examples:
It’s true, he did hardworking a lot of put!
And then I see these Tweets from Karen herself:
How about this…let’s forget about the HOF and show
@JeffJarrettTNA the respect he deserves for taking a chance and having the guts to do
And something about Dixie Carter blocking Twitter followers who Tweet her about Jeff Jarrett going into this hall of fame:
Yeah, this this smacks of an angle. Oh, unless you ask Karen herself:
Whatever, he could be in Hendersonville, Jupiter right now, and TNA would still find a way to turn this into the most intriguing war of words since Corky had an argument with his girlfriend on “Life Goes On.” Only TNA would take the one thing its fans care about less than Robbie E regaining the TV Title and turn it into a lukewarm, one-woman Twit-shit fest. If anyone, TNA’s first hall of fame inductee ought to be Cheex, for damn near ruining TNA’s first pay-per-view and putting us out of its misery before it was even born. -Eric
Jeremy & Kevin are back in your ear holes this week with even more inside jokes! They start off by talking about the proposed TNA Hall of Fame. Naturally, they wonder whether TNA is worthy of any such monument. After talking over that topic they move on to the next logical question, who is worthy of induction? Would there be any one aside from the founders Jarrett & Bob Carter? Jeremy & Kevin go through the show from June 19, 2002 to get some ideas. Does Ken Shamrock deserve this honor? They move on to contemplating whether any of the current wrestlers on the TNA roster deserve it. Would they be ballsy enough to induct Hulk Hogan? How about trying to bring back someone like R Truth? Jeremy & Kevin talk about girl power brought to you by Dixie Carter and Brooke Hogan. Is she famous for anything that Tazz listed in his introduction of her? Will she finally stop taking daddy’s money now that she has a woman’s job? What do these ladies have in common with 50 Shades of Grey? And what is Brooke’s job going to be? Jeremy & Kevin wrap this part of the conversation by wondering whether they’re rather have sex with Carter or Brooke. Their last topic from TNA is Gut Check and more specifically Joey Ryan. Does he really act like Ron Burgundy? Does he make good points for how the Gut Check gimmick works? Is he better than Alex Avila who won the first time? Find out this and more when you click on the link below!
Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, TNA Audio Show, TNA News | Tagged: 50 Shades of Grey, Anchor Man, Bob Carter, Brooke Hogan, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Dixie Carter, Gut Check, Hulk Hugan, Jeff Jarrett, Jerry Jarrett, Joey Ryan, Ken Shamrock, Porn Stache, R Truth, Ron Burgundy | Leave a Comment »
Nearly a year to the day Stunt Granny brings back everyone’s favorite show. Yes it is time for the TNA roster game. For the uninitiated the entire crew gets together and plays booker and the almighty. Who stays? Who goes? Why keep Shannon Moore for any reason? Who is considered an asset in the eyes of some and absolute garbage in the eyes of others? Why go through all of this? Why is Eric squirming for the last fifteen minutes? Why do the guys drag it out much longer than necessary? Well the answer is simple a retarded dog with no education is smarter than the decision makers in TNA. To prove this fact a bunch of assholes will all talk over each other to make jokes at Dixie Carter and her merry pack of goons’ expense. So join in the audio goodness.
Past TNA Roster shows
Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, TNA News | Tagged: a bunch of whores, Abyss, AJ Styles, Alex Shelley, Anarquia, aurora borealis, austin aries, Bobby Roode, Brian Kendrick, Bully Ray, Chris Daneils, Christty Hemme, Crimson, Dixie Carter, Don West, Eric Young, Gail Kim, Gunner, holy shit there are too many people on this roster, Hulk Hogan, Impact Wrestling, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, Jeff Jarrett, Jeremy Borash, Jesse Neal, Karen Jarrett, Kazarian, Kid Kash, kurt angle, Matt Morgan, Mexican America, Mickie James, Mike Tenay, Mr Anderson, ODB, Rob Terry, Rob Van Dam, Samoa Joe, Scott Steiner, Shannon Moore, Sting, Taz, TNA wrestling, Velvet Sky, what? Shannon Moore is employed?, Winter, Zema Ion | 5 Comments »
I’m not really excited that Coors Light is my choice of beers but they were sort of free from last weekend’s bachelor party at Put In Bay. Eric wanted me to write some small stories but everyone esle on the site is better at those things than me. I’m going to mock TV shows. It’s after Smackdown (10:30 PM) but I think I’m going for the double dip tonight. Impact Wrestling Blog then a Smackdwon blog as a separate post. It should be interesting taking down “4″ hours of wrestling. I should finish in no more than 3. Let’s do this.
We start with a review of the pay per view. They show the TNA Heavyweight Championship material last even though it wasn’t that way on the PPV. To aid in watching, I’m not watching ring entrances. Gunner “breaks up” (Anderson was done talking for a decent length of time) Anderson’s rant according the announcers. Gunner is not good on the stick. Gunner falls for the beer trick. Anderson is dumb enough to turn his back on him. We get the hype for the rest of the show. What a lame opening segment.
Hernandez takes on Devon. Pope distracts Devon. When is Devon going to realize that his family is costing him his career? Pope clears the ring. Why would Devon’s kids even like Pope? Haven’t they been watching Impact Wrestling? Bischoff makes use of the too many twists and turns with Anderson.
Angle goes thru his history winning the Gold Medal. Angle announces that he is trying out for the Olympic team. I had read the spoilers so no suprise. Jarrett interrupts unlike Gunner. We could only hope Jarrett left if he loses against Angle. Kurt talking sense to Jarrett about honor. Glad I didn’t order the PPV since I’m getting the match for free.
Filed under: Kevin's Blog, TNA News, TV Recaps | Tagged: Coors Light, Devon, Eric Bischoff, Gunner, Hernandez, Impact Wrestling, Jeff Jarrett, Mexican America, Mr Anderson, Put In Bay, Smackdown, Sting, The Pope | 2 Comments »
As further evidence of this company’s lack of attention to detail (and by “detail” I mean “absolutely anything whatsoever, huge or small”), TNA has changed its official Twitter handle from “TNAWrestling” to “IMPACTWRESTLING.” Does this mean “TNA” as a brand name no longer exists? Is this a sign of an imminent name change for the entire company and not just its piddly TV show? Is Jeff Jarrett going to have to adapt his own Twitter handle to remove the initials of the company which he (well, his dad) founded? How many pots of spaghetti do you have to throw at a wall before one noodle sticks? All of these questions and more will never be answered on the next edition of Who Gives a Fuck Tonight. -Eric
For the last two weeks, there hasn’t been much news. God bless Eric who has squeezed blood out of two different stones this week alone. I mean, is Foley bragging about himself again really news? Eric skewers him well as he always does but seriously, that’s the big news of the last two weeks? OK, I almost feel like I’m doing a write up for an audio now. Since the news is slow and my moron buddy forgot to call me before coming over to watch the Bruins against Lightning, I’m headed to the hurt locker voluntarily and doing a review of iMPACT Wrestling, Will it be a new era? Not from what I read. Now I get to witness it.
I almost started without a Yuengling. Silly Kevin. My DVR was still set to record this show even with the name change. RVD has taken a serious tumble. Losing to Sting at this juncture is pathetic. I’m sure this is a new entrance montage but I don’t remember what the last one was like. Immortal saunters to the ring. The blue ring ropes makes me think Smackdown. The whole black, white and blue theme reminds me of Smackdown. You just needed to stay away from blue and red. Is it that hard? Go green. Go black. Go yellow for Hogan colors. Kendrick’s music is worse than Daniel Bryan’s. Kendrick isn’t odd enough to be delivering this message. Plus, the X Division being resurrected is like the US or IC Title meaning something again.Easy E’s arms look bigger than they used to. Mildly, Moderate Red is all you have Bischoff? TNA couldn’t have picked a more bland group to represent the X Division. Plus, it’s another large faction after Immortal & Fortune. Taz acting like Bischoff getting into the ring is a big deal is embarrassing. We end up with one big brawl. The Bucks and Red just about kill themselves to show that the X Division does suck.
Tenay acting like Sting was in his trademark gear was embarrassing too. You could tell by skin color it wasn’t Sting. Six woman tag match starts after the break. Anarquia is the hype man. Better choice than Hernandez. Miss Tessmacher making making up for a lack of wrestling by doing robot dancing. She still has the most fantastic heiney in wrestling. Madison Rayne over acting. Rosita takes the beating since Rayne is a coward.
Kazarian versus Abyss for the X Division title. Taz bringing an astounding dumb line of logic to why there shouldn’t be an X Division. Taz continues to make no sense (Cole employs logic for Pete’s sake) during a mediocre match. Abyss fakes an injury to win a match that the announcers called him a favorite in. Taz said the internet is burning up because of the title change. Wow, he is terrible.
Samoa Joe squashes Amazing Red. Crimson makes the save. Crimson can’t figure out how to get his shirt off. Great example of how inept TNA is.
Filed under: Kevin's Blog, TNA News, TV Recaps | Tagged: Abyss, AJ Styles, Amazing Red, Angelina Love, Boston Bruins, Brian Kendrick, Bully Ray, Crimson, Eric Bischoff, Eric Young, Gunner, Hulk Hogan, Impact Wrestling, Jeff Jarrett, Jeremy Buck, Karen Jarrett, Kazarian, kurt angle, Max Buck, Mick Foley, Mike Tenay, Miss Tessmacher, Mr Anderson, Ric Flair, Robert Roode, RVD, Samoa Joe, Smackdown, Sting, Tampa Bay Lightning, Taz, TNA, Tommy Dreamer, Velvet Sky, Winter, Yuengling | Leave a Comment »
… and Dusty’s brains ooze out the side of his head.
Yeah, pretty much the worst thing ever. - Dusty
Filed under: TNA News | Tagged: asshole, Auto Tune, Christy Hemme, Eric Bischoff, Hulk Hogan, Jeff Jarrett, Ken Anderson, Mike Tenay, Mr Anderson, Rematch Remix, Thursday Night Impact, TNA | Leave a Comment »